Osama is Dead

There are several things that I have lived through in my young 33 years and I can tell you very clearly where I was during all of them. I would guess that 100% of Americans can tell you where they were on 9-11 when the Twin Towers crumbled and the Pentagon billowed with black smoke.

Now I add to my list that when I heard that Osama Bin Laden had been killed, I was doing laundry. Larry called my name from across the room and I immediately thought I was in trouble. The sound of his voice was both shock and alarm mixed with intense questioning. I rushed out of the laundry room to find Larry standing in the middle of our great room staring at the TV. He says to me in the calmest voice I've ever heard, "We got him. We got him Jamie. Osama is dead. Osama Bin Laden is dead."

We just stood in the middle of the living room together flipping through the various news channels hearing it repeated over and over again. "Osama is dead."

Thank you to all the military men and women who have sacrificed it all to continue to allow us to experience freedom. God bless America!

Thankful Thursday

Today I am especially thankful for so many things. Below are blessings, a week in review, in no particular order.

~ Family time camping at Lake Anna and playing for 2 days at Kings Dominion
~ Warm breezes
~ My Bunco girls!
~ Easter and it’s true meaning – He is Risen!
~ Flip flops and peeky toe shoes
~ Little man Tanner who is so Larry and so Jamie, it's scary
~ Lunch with Jill Botham and my dad all in one week
~ Old pictures newly discovered
~ Getting piles of work off my desk
~ Shampooed carpet
~ Certain trials that Pastor Suitt has encouraged me to be thankful for – I’m not fooling myself though, they are still trials!
~ Antibiotics and eye drops
~ Leftover smoked chicken – yum-o!
~ My small group through LWBC – amazing!
~ Safety and protection

My List

A friend of mine blogged recently and just listed things she enjoyed. She also mentioned that she needed to blog to get all of the randomness out of her head rather than blogging for other people's benefit. This often sounds like what I struggle with blogging on a regular basis so I think I needed a reminder to just start typing.

This is for you Becca in no particular order...

Road Trips with the Girls
Camping
Girlfriends
Organization
Tubing
Snuggling with Lou, Tanner and Cali
Target & Sams
Black Out Curtains
Bunco & My Bunco Girls
Slumber Parties - yes, you can still do that in your 30s
Jesus Money
The Beach
Zumba
Baking
Swimming
Broken in Jeans
Yoga Pants - and no Jill, not much Yoga is actually done while wearing these :o)
Flip Flops
Painted Toe Nails
Reading a Good Book - especially a series when I know there is more goodness to come

And, yes, Becca, above everything else... I love Jesus! :o)

My "Little" Date

Today was a very different Sunday and it was a very nice change.

It started with Tanner sleeping in until 9 which means that my sleep wasn't interrupted so I actually slept until 9 too. For those of you who know me, you know I am up at 7am at the absolute latest, no matter the day. It's like my body just can't lay there anymore and my mind can't fake asleep.

Well at 2 minutes after 9, my sweet little monkey climbs onto my head and informs me that it's Sunday and time to go to church. How sweet. I love waking up to his good mornings and kisses (although it usually involves hair pulling and pain in my ribs as he attempts to climb in the bed with us and ends up all over my head and body). We had a great morning at church and heard Pastor Suitt talk about all the "little" things that aren't so little like the amazing baby Jesus that was born in the "little" town of Bethlehem. It really was just eye opening.

Then we spent a fairly chill afternoon adding the finishing touches to our Christmas decorations and Tanner laid down for a nap. I also took advantage of the down time to get some shopping done and add a few more checks to my Christmas shopping list.

When I got back home, Tanner had just woken up and he and Larry were playing in the floor. What a beautiful sight! Larry is such the big, strong, silent type but when he's with Tanner, he's just so relaxed and fun. It was great to watch.

After the boys finished playing, Tanner asked me if we could go on a date. I about fell out of my chair. What a great idea! Larry didn't mind so I said sure and Tanner and I were off for our date. He wanted pancakes and bacon so we went to Bob Evans and then somehow we ended up spending the following 2 hours at Wal-Mart. Tanner was so sweet and cute. We had a great time. He helped me pick out 3 birthday/Christmas presents for his friends which was initially very tough for him but eventually he did a wonderful job.

All in all, my Sunday was very different, but it went along with the theme of the day, "little" miracles, moments and memories. It was a wonderful day and I am truly blessed.

Thankful Thursday...A Day Late

This past week has been nuts, crazy, hectic, funky and overwhelming. In the midst of all of that, it was still an awesome week and I am so thankful for so many things.

This week I have been especially thankful for:

:: my Dad who lovingly and willing kept Tanner for two days while he was too sick to go to school so I could continue to work. Thanks Dad! I love you SO much!

:: the opportunity to be there for a hurting friend and to offer sound advice

:: time where I could just catch my breath

:: Living Word Baptist Church, Pastor Suitt, the praise team and Jason Suitt

:: weather that was so perfect we played outside for hours and delayed bedtime

:: strength to continue with a difficult relationship

:: yoga pants and kick it t-shirts

and last but certainly not least

:: Halloween Double Stuff Oreo Cookies

Bumps In The Road

I feel like I am currently at a crossroads and I'm not sure what to do.

What I'm currently going through is odd and weird and a little unsettling. I won't go into details about it specifically, but just know that it's not a great place to be. No worries, health wise, I'm ok.

Something happened that neither Larry nor myself knew how to address but it made us both feel uncomfortable, unhappy and quite frankly, angry. After talking it out, bouncing ideas off each other back and forth and talking it out with a friend, the only option that seemed plausible was simple. Prayer.

I stopped what I was trying to do and just prayed. I prayed that God would give me a changed heart and help me know what to do going forward, to give me the right thoughts and words to make a positive change.

Since I never know "the plan" I have to trust that God knows what He's doing and have faith that He will get me through anything. I'm not saying this is easy. I'm not even saying I like this option very much, but I don't feel like I have any other options if I truly stop trying to fix it myself and just get out of His way and let Him work in my heart.

I heard someone recently say that if God is your co-pilot, you're in the wrong seat. Well, I've moved over and am trying my best to just be the passenger. For a control freak like myself, this is very difficult but I have to give it a shot. I am praying not only for a changed heart but for a fresh start and to smooth out my current bumps in the road.

God is Good

God is good is definitely not a new thought but it was one that I was really reminded of just now.

I am in Virginia Beach with a few friends and I just got back from a power walk on the beach, by myself, which in itself is awesome because I am so rarely by myself. I walked and walked and walked and finally just stopped, caught my breath and admired one of God's beautiful creations, the ocean.

As I stood there and just watched the waves crash in and then go back out over and over, I just smiled. The simplicity of what I see but the complexity of what it takes to make those waves crash in and then go back out time and time again blows my mind. God is so big and so powerful and so unbelievably good.

So I just stood there, dug my toes in the sand and took in as much as I could.

God is good, all the time. And all the time, God is good.

IV Iron Infusion...Part II

Tomorrow I have the second iron infusion at Virginia Baptist and I have to say that I'm a little nervous.

I should feel better by now and I really don't. Occasionally I have "jolts" of energy but it goes away very quickly and then I'm completely drained. I have entire days when I feel like a zombie. I just really want to get my life back and at this point, having any energy at all would be a plus.

Not only am I nervous about how I will be wiped out for at least the week following tomorrow's infusion, but the area of my hand and wrist where I had the last infusion still hurts very much. I usually have a very high threshold for pain but this is almost like an ache, like a bone deep strain or something. My folks say I should mention it tomorrow when they go to put in the IV and I guess I really should. We'll see how it all plays out.

I'll have at least 6 hours to sit there during the infusion. This time I'm packing snacks and bringing my iPod. Maybe I can get a nap and catch up on my sleep.

Say some prayers.

IV Iron Infusion...Say What?!

Today was my first IV iron infusion at Virginia Baptist. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't really how I would prefer to spend a warm August afternoon.

I've had low iron for several years now and because of my ongoing stomach issues, I don't digest iron pills very well and it doesn't stay in my system long enough to do any good.

When I saw my doctor this past week for my annual physical we reviewed all my blood work results and he immediately had this look of shock on his face. I must admit I was extremely nervous. He then proceeded to tell me that the results from my iron labs were too low to register. This is not the first time I've heard this. After they retested my iron level in the office, it registered somewhere in the 4 range. "Normal" people's iron level is somewhere between 13 & 15. Needless to say, a lot of the side effects of low iron were starting to make sense for me personally. My doctor proceeded to ask me how I was functioning. Truly, honestly, not well but how do you really know how not well you are functioning until you have something to compare it to?

He recommended getting 2 high doses of iron via infusion and I initially thought he was joking. Say what?! Then the more I thought about it the more I liked the idea. I mean really, who doesn't want to feel better? I definitely do. I would love to have more energy and focus.

So today I finished my first round. I will do another IV iron infusion in 2 weeks and will spend another Monday afternoon at Virginia Baptist Hospital for at least 6 hours. All of this in the name of feeling better...bring it on.

Thankful Thursday

This week I have been especially thankful for many things. Below is just a snapshot of those blessings both big and small.

~~ Celebrating being married to Larry for 10 years, crazy to think we have been married that long and I am thankful for all the memories we have made

~~ time spent dreaming about vacations, building another home and expanding our family

~~ the challenges of being a parent, I know that sounds crazy but I keep telling myself all the challenges are just sharpening my parenting skills and hopefully helping

~~ getting to spend extra time with my Mom and Dad since they are the most awesome peope in the world and volunteered to keep Tanner all week while his preschool was closed

~~ leftovers

~~ late night snacks

~~ 5 minutes of quiet time in the car when I feel like I can actually hear God

~~ getting to hang out with friends and catch up, be silly and let go

5, 4, 3, 2, 1, Part Deux

Oh good day.

Today I felt like a parenting experiment gone terribly wrong. Terribly, terribly wrong.

Today has been one of those days when I look back and go, "Wow, really? That's how that went?" Sadly, yep. No need to take down notes or jot down any tips because today nothing seemed to work. Maybe that's he lesson in it all?

Not only was the countdown in full effect so was the following:
1. the toddler time out
2. the Mommy time out
3. ignoring said toddler's temper tantrum and subsequent yelling and throwing of small self on the floor
4. encouraging said toddler to make another choice and showing awesome options that would be a billion times better than the previously mentioned temper tantrum
5. begging
6. pleading
7. crying

Dear God please bless me as a parent and give me the wisdom to be the parent you planned for me to be and Tanner needs me to be. Please let me wake up with a few new tricks in my parenting bag, that, or could you maybe send me on a vacation?

5, 4, 3, 2, 1

The countdown.

More than likely you've either heard this from your parents during your childhood or you've used it recently as a parent with your own kids although the number sequence may vary.

I have recently found myself having to use the countdown in more situations that I care to admit. Mostly, I use the countdown in trying to teach Tanner obediance. This is a huge concept for a 2 year old but what a better time to lay this foundation than right now? Right? Maybe?

He needs to have a clear understanding of what Larry and I expect from him and what society expects of everyone as human beings. I am trying to raise a thoughtful and caring little boy so that when he grows up and is a man, he knows how to treat those around him.

I have also had to use the countdown for myself, especially when Tanner in his true 2 year old fashion disobeys even the littlest request. I mean the blatant disobediance frustrates me on a level I didn't even know existed for me personally.

I am usually a very calm, relaxed and flexible person. I also pride myself with being aware of how others are feeling or perceive situations and this goes for Tanner as well. I try to remember that he is only 2 and he is learning about his environment and is bombarded continuously with new input that he has to make sense of. It's the times when I can see him thinking about what I'm asking him to do, or not do, and then purposefully making the opposite decision that is unbelievably infuriating. For me, this is when I have to use the countdown.

Tonight I found myself actually having to walk away, leave the room, breathe it out and apply the countdown just to get control of my emotions. I hate feeling like I can't get Tanner to understand that what I'm asking him to do is in his best interest. What 2 year old understands this? Instead, I have to make myself understand that this is just a bump in the road and tell myself that it will get better and to keep on teaching him the things I need him to know and get.

Until then 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.

Belated Thankful Thursday

This week I have been especially thankful for many things. Below is just a snapshot of those blessings.

~ getting to spend time with my Grandma on her 82nd birthday

~ spending time laughing with ridiculously crazy co-workers while chilling at Smith Mountain Lake

~ feeling a small sense of accomplishment when my 2 year old spontaneously says "please" and "thank you"

~ the extra cuddle time I've had with said 2 year old

~ comfortable shoes

~ clean sheet night

~ the awareness of God's amazing love

Simple Sense of Peace

This afternoon I had a few minutes in the car by myself, which is extremely rare, and I experienced a moment where everything in my world just felt right. I felt like I could actually hear God telling me to take a moment and catch my breath.

Women today have so many roles and we wear so many hats that it's hard for us to have those tidbits of time that are just for catching our breath.

We are moms, wives, daughters, workers, short order cooks, dry cleaners, taxi drivers, maids, cheerleaders, nurses and much, much more but my favorite role is one that doesn't really have a title and doesn't fit neatly into a little box.

I love when I can hear God speak, feel that simple sense of peace that only He gives me and pass that peace to my family through more personal time, extra patience, the special taste of love in a home cooked meal, one more bed time story or song, a tighter goodnight hug and just letting His love shine.

Mini Dates or in Tanner Speak, Memmy Dates

My amazing parents have started asking to keep Tanner every so often so Larry and I have really tried to take advantage of the time together. We have been joking and referring to this time as mini dates.

We've grabbed a cheap dinner, seen a cheap movie or just spent time at home in a more quiet house than normal. Some times we have just walked around Lowes or Home Depot and dreamed. It's been a kind of renewal of our relationship and it's great.

When we talk about it with Tanner we call it mini dates and he always says that he wants to date with us too. The way he words it is really cute. It does get a little silly and weird though when he says he wants to date me or Larry for that matter.

Tonight we were having a family date which consisted of dinner at Taco Bell and then grocery shopping at Kroger and Tanner looked as seriously as a 2 year old could muster and said, "Daddy, I wanna memmy date you and Mommy." How cute is that?!

Anyway, it started us thinking that the special times we spend with Tanner will from now on be called Memmy Dates. We ran this idea by him and he said, "Sure Momma. Ok. Sounds good. Can I have a cookie?" I love that kid!!

Sunday Night Blues

I don't know exactly why it happens, but just about every Sunday night I get this overwhelming feeling of dread.

I know it has something to do with having to go back to work on Monday but it couldn't be all of it since it's not like I hate my job. I'm thankful to have a steady income and be a part of a company that actually promotes family first. All in all, my job isn't that bad.

I think what it stems from is that during the weekend I spend mega time with Tanner and I know that come Monday morning someone else will get to spend all that time with him. I also wish that I could work a different schedule so I don't feel like I'm rushing every morning to pass him to someone else. I just want to be there for him more.

We've had an amazing weekend and I just don't want to see it come to an end. Somehow I'm going to figure out how to make it last. I'll let you know the gameplan just as soon as God reveals it to me.

Thankful Thursday

It's been awhile but I'm bringing it back. I've missed you Thankful Thursdays.

This week I have been thankful for:

:: home cooked meals












:: time with a special friend (who just happens to be totally cute)

:: times when I'm humbled and awed by God's still small voice

:: hilarity that ensued in the car with Rachael after a painful Mariah solo

:: 3pm early closing Fridays at work

:: time spent with Larry on a mini date while my Mom and Dad kept Tanner

:: not having a plan but somehow being at peace about it

:: the ability to learn new tricks to spice up my blog

What a 2 Year Old Says to Random Strangers

"Hi. I pee peed in the potty." or even better "Hi. I pooped in the potty."

Yes, these have now become Tanner's favorite things to share with anyone and everyone he comes in contact with.

For example, the other night Tanner and I were at Kohl's looking for jammies and returning a pair of shorts and in a matter of 10 minutes or less he had shared his new found mastery of the potty with approximately 3 families.

Blessedly, these families also had children and seemed to #1 not be phased and #2 roll with it and offer their congratulations.

The sweetest thing I witnessed that night was when we were leaving the store and Tanner and I were holding the door for an elderly gentleman that was carrying what looked like a large vaccuum cleaner box. Tanner of course in his true 2 year old fashion shared with this man that he pee peed in the potty. Well the older man didn't miss a beat. He said "Way to go buddy, that's pretty big news." and hi fived Tanner.

Well of course after that Tanner thought he was definitely hot stuff. He is so proud of himself and so are we. My baby is growing up too fast.

Something in the water...but not for me.

Those of you who know me know that I want another baby, more than anything. And those of you who are close to me, know that it took us 7 years to get pregnant with Tanner. While Tanner is a huge blessing and the best thing that has ever happened to me, I feel an overwhelming desire to have another baby and it's just not happening.

I really wish that desire equaled getting what you want but I know that's not quite it, but wouldn't that be awesome? I know that God speaks to me through my trials and that He promises not to give me more than I can bear, but it really is tiring and honestly painful.

Another part of my struggle is that 8, yes 8, people that I know are currently pregnant. Also, the church that we attend has so many babies and pregnant ladies it's crazy. People say all the time, and say quite carelessly I must admit, to just drink the church water or something else meant to ease my pain but I still fail to hide a cringe.

I remind myself that God's plan is sovreign and that things happen according to His perfect timing, I just wish I could sneak a peak at those plans so the in between or wait time doesn't seem so long and perhaps wouldn't be so hard.

I think I Fixed it...Maybe?

Last night I got a message when I opened my blog that said I was going to lose my back ground and I needed to change it before today. No time like the present I thought.

Well, with a little too much messing with it on my part, it went away. So today I went back and fiddled with it a little more and voila, I think I picked a new one that works.

What do you think? Can you see everything like before? Does it look ok?