all 10 toes

Osama is Dead

2011-05-01T23:50:00.003-04:00

There are several things that I have lived through in my young 33 years and I can tell you very clearly where I was during all of them. I would guess that 100% of Americans can tell you where they were on 9-11 when the Twin Towers crumbled and the Pentagon billowed with black smoke.

Now I add to my list that when I heard that Osama Bin Laden had been killed, I was doing laundry. Larry called my name from across the room and I immediately thought I was in trouble. The sound of his voice was both shock and alarm mixed with intense questioning. I rushed out of the laundry room to find Larry standing in the middle of our great room staring at the TV. He says to me in the calmest voice I've ever heard, "We got him. We got him Jamie. Osama is dead. Osama Bin Laden is dead."

We just stood in the middle of the living room together flipping through the various news channels hearing it repeated over and over again. "Osama is dead."

Thank you to all the military men and women who have sacrificed it all to continue to allow us to experience freedom. God bless America!

Thankful Thursday

2011-04-28T13:18:00.001-04:00

Today I am especially thankful for so many things. Below are blessings, a week in review, in no particular order.

~ Family time camping at Lake Anna and playing for 2 days at Kings Dominion
~ Warm breezes
~ My Bunco girls!
~ Easter and it’s true meaning – He is Risen!
~ Flip flops and peeky toe shoes
~ Little man Tanner who is so Larry and so Jamie, it's scary
~ Lunch with Jill Botham and my dad all in one week
~ Old pictures newly discovered
~ Getting piles of work off my desk
~ Shampooed carpet
~ Certain trials that Pastor Suitt has encouraged me to be thankful for – I’m not fooling myself though, they are still trials!
~ Antibiotics and eye drops
~ Leftover smoked chicken – yum-o!
~ My small group through LWBC – amazing!
~ Safety and protection

My List

2011-01-31T13:13:00.003-05:00

A friend of mine blogged recently and just listed things she enjoyed. She also mentioned that she needed to blog to get all of the randomness out of her head rather than blogging for other people's benefit. This often sounds like what I struggle with blogging on a regular basis so I think I needed a reminder to just start typing.

This is for you Becca in no particular order...

Road Trips with the Girls
Camping
Girlfriends
Organization
Tubing
Snuggling with Lou, Tanner and Cali
Target & Sams
Black Out Curtains
Bunco & My Bunco Girls
Slumber Parties - yes, you can still do that in your 30s
Jesus Money
The Beach
Zumba
Baking
Swimming
Broken in Jeans
Yoga Pants - and no Jill, not much Yoga is actually done while wearing these :o)
Flip Flops
Painted Toe Nails
Reading a Good Book - especially a series when I know there is more goodness to come

And, yes, Becca, above everything else... I love Jesus! :o)

My "Little" Date

2010-12-13T00:36:00.003-05:00

Today was a very different Sunday and it was a very nice change.

It started with Tanner sleeping in until 9 which means that my sleep wasn't interrupted so I actually slept until 9 too. For those of you who know me, you know I am up at 7am at the absolute latest, no matter the day. It's like my body just can't lay there anymore and my mind can't fake asleep.

Well at 2 minutes after 9, my sweet little monkey climbs onto my head and informs me that it's Sunday and time to go to church. How sweet. I love waking up to his good mornings and kisses (although it usually involves hair pulling and pain in my ribs as he attempts to climb in the bed with us and ends up all over my head and body). We had a great morning at church and heard Pastor Suitt talk about all the "little" things that aren't so little like the amazing baby Jesus that was born in the "little" town of Bethlehem. It really was just eye opening.

Then we spent a fairly chill afternoon adding the finishing touches to our Christmas decorations and Tanner laid down for a nap. I also took advantage of the down time to get some shopping done and add a few more checks to my Christmas shopping list.

When I got back home, Tanner had just woken up and he and Larry were playing in the floor. What a beautiful sight! Larry is such the big, strong, silent type but when he's with Tanner, he's just so relaxed and fun. It was great to watch.

After the boys finished playing, Tanner asked me if we could go on a date. I about fell out of my chair. What a great idea! Larry didn't mind so I said sure and Tanner and I were off for our date. He wanted pancakes and bacon so we went to Bob Evans and then somehow we ended up spending the following 2 hours at Wal-Mart. Tanner was so sweet and cute. We had a great time. He helped me pick out 3 birthday/Christmas presents for his friends which was initially very tough for him but eventually he did a wonderful job.

All in all, my Sunday was very different, but it went along with the theme of the day, "little" miracles, moments and memories. It was a wonderful day and I am truly blessed.

Thankful Thursday...A Day Late

2010-10-08T22:11:00.002-04:00

This past week has been nuts, crazy, hectic, funky and overwhelming. In the midst of all of that, it was still an awesome week and I am so thankful for so many things.

This week I have been especially thankful for:

:: my Dad who lovingly and willing kept Tanner for two days while he was too sick to go to school so I could continue to work. Thanks Dad! I love you SO much!

:: the opportunity to be there for a hurting friend and to offer sound advice

:: time where I could just catch my breath

:: Living Word Baptist Church, Pastor Suitt, the praise team and Jason Suitt

:: weather that was so perfect we played outside for hours and delayed bedtime

:: strength to continue with a difficult relationship

:: yoga pants and kick it t-shirts

and last but certainly not least

:: Halloween Double Stuff Oreo Cookies

Bumps In The Road

2010-09-29T22:00:00.006-04:00

I feel like I am currently at a crossroads and I'm not sure what to do.

What I'm currently going through is odd and weird and a little unsettling. I won't go into details about it specifically, but just know that it's not a great place to be. No worries, health wise, I'm ok.

Something happened that neither Larry nor myself knew how to address but it made us both feel uncomfortable, unhappy and quite frankly, angry. After talking it out, bouncing ideas off each other back and forth and talking it out with a friend, the only option that seemed plausible was simple. Prayer.

I stopped what I was trying to do and just prayed. I prayed that God would give me a changed heart and help me know what to do going forward, to give me the right thoughts and words to make a positive change.

Since I never know "the plan" I have to trust that God knows what He's doing and have faith that He will get me through anything. I'm not saying this is easy. I'm not even saying I like this option very much, but I don't feel like I have any other options if I truly stop trying to fix it myself and just get out of His way and let Him work in my heart.

I heard someone recently say that if God is your co-pilot, you're in the wrong seat. Well, I've moved over and am trying my best to just be the passenger. For a control freak like myself, this is very difficult but I have to give it a shot. I am praying not only for a changed heart but for a fresh start and to smooth out my current bumps in the road.

God is Good

2010-09-24T08:48:00.002-04:00

God is good is definitely not a new thought but it was one that I was really reminded of just now.

I am in Virginia Beach with a few friends and I just got back from a power walk on the beach, by myself, which in itself is awesome because I am so rarely by myself. I walked and walked and walked and finally just stopped, caught my breath and admired one of God's beautiful creations, the ocean.

As I stood there and just watched the waves crash in and then go back out over and over, I just smiled. The simplicity of what I see but the complexity of what it takes to make those waves crash in and then go back out time and time again blows my mind. God is so big and so powerful and so unbelievably good.

So I just stood there, dug my toes in the sand and took in as much as I could.

God is good, all the time. And all the time, God is good.

IV Iron Infusion...Part II

2010-09-06T21:56:00.003-04:00

Tomorrow I have the second iron infusion at Virginia Baptist and I have to say that I'm a little nervous.

I should feel better by now and I really don't. Occasionally I have "jolts" of energy but it goes away very quickly and then I'm completely drained. I have entire days when I feel like a zombie. I just really want to get my life back and at this point, having any energy at all would be a plus.

Not only am I nervous about how I will be wiped out for at least the week following tomorrow's infusion, but the area of my hand and wrist where I had the last infusion still hurts very much. I usually have a very high threshold for pain but this is almost like an ache, like a bone deep strain or something. My folks say I should mention it tomorrow when they go to put in the IV and I guess I really should. We'll see how it all plays out.

I'll have at least 6 hours to sit there during the infusion. This time I'm packing snacks and bringing my iPod. Maybe I can get a nap and catch up on my sleep.

Say some prayers.

IV Iron Infusion...Say What?!

2010-08-23T23:05:00.003-04:00

Today was my first IV iron infusion at Virginia Baptist. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't really how I would prefer to spend a warm August afternoon.

I've had low iron for several years now and because of my ongoing stomach issues, I don't digest iron pills very well and it doesn't stay in my system long enough to do any good.

When I saw my doctor this past week for my annual physical we reviewed all my blood work results and he immediately had this look of shock on his face. I must admit I was extremely nervous. He then proceeded to tell me that the results from my iron labs were too low to register. This is not the first time I've heard this. After they retested my iron level in the office, it registered somewhere in the 4 range. "Normal" people's iron level is somewhere between 13 & 15. Needless to say, a lot of the side effects of low iron were starting to make sense for me personally. My doctor proceeded to ask me how I was functioning. Truly, honestly, not well but how do you really know how not well you are functioning until you have something to compare it to?

He recommended getting 2 high doses of iron via infusion and I initially thought he was joking. Say what?! Then the more I thought about it the more I liked the idea. I mean really, who doesn't want to feel better? I definitely do. I would love to have more energy and focus.

So today I finished my first round. I will do another IV iron infusion in 2 weeks and will spend another Monday afternoon at Virginia Baptist Hospital for at least 6 hours. All of this in the name of feeling better...bring it on.

Thankful Thursday

2010-08-12T22:27:00.002-04:00

This week I have been especially thankful for many things. Below is just a snapshot of those blessings both big and small.

~~ Celebrating being married to Larry for 10 years, crazy to think we have been married that long and I am thankful for all the memories we have made

~~ time spent dreaming about vacations, building another home and expanding our family

~~ the challenges of being a parent, I know that sounds crazy but I keep telling myself all the challenges are just sharpening my parenting skills and hopefully helping

~~ getting to spend extra time with my Mom and Dad since they are the most awesome peope in the world and volunteered to keep Tanner all week while his preschool was closed

~~ leftovers

~~ late night snacks

~~ 5 minutes of quiet time in the car when I feel like I can actually hear God

~~ getting to hang out with friends and catch up, be silly and let go

5, 4, 3, 2, 1, Part Deux

2010-08-11T23:22:00.005-04:00

Oh good day.

Today I felt like a parenting experiment gone terribly wrong. Terribly, terribly wrong.

Today has been one of those days when I look back and go, "Wow, really? That's how that went?" Sadly, yep. No need to take down notes or jot down any tips because today nothing seemed to work. Maybe that's he lesson in it all?

Not only was the countdown in full effect so was the following:
1. the toddler time out
2. the Mommy time out
3. ignoring said toddler's temper tantrum and subsequent yelling and throwing of small self on the floor
4. encouraging said toddler to make another choice and showing awesome options that would be a billion times better than the previously mentioned temper tantrum
5. begging
6. pleading
7. crying

Dear God please bless me as a parent and give me the wisdom to be the parent you planned for me to be and Tanner needs me to be. Please let me wake up with a few new tricks in my parenting bag, that, or could you maybe send me on a vacation?

5, 4, 3, 2, 1

2010-08-08T21:57:00.003-04:00

The countdown.

More than likely you've either heard this from your parents during your childhood or you've used it recently as a parent with your own kids although the number sequence may vary.

I have recently found myself having to use the countdown in more situations that I care to admit. Mostly, I use the countdown in trying to teach Tanner obediance. This is a huge concept for a 2 year old but what a better time to lay this foundation than right now? Right? Maybe?

He needs to have a clear understanding of what Larry and I expect from him and what society expects of everyone as human beings. I am trying to raise a thoughtful and caring little boy so that when he grows up and is a man, he knows how to treat those around him.

I have also had to use the countdown for myself, especially when Tanner in his true 2 year old fashion disobeys even the littlest request. I mean the blatant disobediance frustrates me on a level I didn't even know existed for me personally.

I am usually a very calm, relaxed and flexible person. I also pride myself with being aware of how others are feeling or perceive situations and this goes for Tanner as well. I try to remember that he is only 2 and he is learning about his environment and is bombarded continuously with new input that he has to make sense of. It's the times when I can see him thinking about what I'm asking him to do, or not do, and then purposefully making the opposite decision that is unbelievably infuriating. For me, this is when I have to use the countdown.

Tonight I found myself actually having to walk away, leave the room, breathe it out and apply the countdown just to get control of my emotions. I hate feeling like I can't get Tanner to understand that what I'm asking him to do is in his best interest. What 2 year old understands this? Instead, I have to make myself understand that this is just a bump in the road and tell myself that it will get better and to keep on teaching him the things I need him to know and get.

Until then 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.

Belated Thankful Thursday

2010-08-06T22:50:00.004-04:00

This week I have been especially thankful for many things. Below is just a snapshot of those blessings.

~ getting to spend time with my Grandma on her 82nd birthday

~ spending time laughing with ridiculously crazy co-workers while chilling at Smith Mountain Lake

~ feeling a small sense of accomplishment when my 2 year old spontaneously says "please" and "thank you"

~ the extra cuddle time I've had with said 2 year old

~ comfortable shoes

~ clean sheet night

~ the awareness of God's amazing love

Simple Sense of Peace

2010-08-03T22:38:00.004-04:00

This afternoon I had a few minutes in the car by myself, which is extremely rare, and I experienced a moment where everything in my world just felt right. I felt like I could actually hear God telling me to take a moment and catch my breath.

Women today have so many roles and we wear so many hats that it's hard for us to have those tidbits of time that are just for catching our breath.

We are moms, wives, daughters, workers, short order cooks, dry cleaners, taxi drivers, maids, cheerleaders, nurses and much, much more but my favorite role is one that doesn't really have a title and doesn't fit neatly into a little box.

I love when I can hear God speak, feel that simple sense of peace that only He gives me and pass that peace to my family through more personal time, extra patience, the special taste of love in a home cooked meal, one more bed time story or song, a tighter goodnight hug and just letting His love shine.

Mini Dates or in Tanner Speak, Memmy Dates

2010-08-02T22:46:00.003-04:00

My amazing parents have started asking to keep Tanner every so often so Larry and I have really tried to take advantage of the time together. We have been joking and referring to this time as mini dates.

We've grabbed a cheap dinner, seen a cheap movie or just spent time at home in a more quiet house than normal. Some times we have just walked around Lowes or Home Depot and dreamed. It's been a kind of renewal of our relationship and it's great.

When we talk about it with Tanner we call it mini dates and he always says that he wants to date with us too. The way he words it is really cute. It does get a little silly and weird though when he says he wants to date me or Larry for that matter.

Tonight we were having a family date which consisted of dinner at Taco Bell and then grocery shopping at Kroger and Tanner looked as seriously as a 2 year old could muster and said, "Daddy, I wanna memmy date you and Mommy." How cute is that?!

Anyway, it started us thinking that the special times we spend with Tanner will from now on be called Memmy Dates. We ran this idea by him and he said, "Sure Momma. Ok. Sounds good. Can I have a cookie?" I love that kid!!

Sunday Night Blues

2010-08-01T22:25:00.003-04:00

I don't know exactly why it happens, but just about every Sunday night I get this overwhelming feeling of dread.

I know it has something to do with having to go back to work on Monday but it couldn't be all of it since it's not like I hate my job. I'm thankful to have a steady income and be a part of a company that actually promotes family first. All in all, my job isn't that bad.

I think what it stems from is that during the weekend I spend mega time with Tanner and I know that come Monday morning someone else will get to spend all that time with him. I also wish that I could work a different schedule so I don't feel like I'm rushing every morning to pass him to someone else. I just want to be there for him more.

We've had an amazing weekend and I just don't want to see it come to an end. Somehow I'm going to figure out how to make it last. I'll let you know the gameplan just as soon as God reveals it to me.

Thankful Thursday

2010-07-29T20:52:00.004-04:00

It's been awhile but I'm bringing it back. I've missed you Thankful Thursdays.

This week I have been thankful for:

:: home cooked meals

:: time with a special friend (who just happens to be totally cute)

:: times when I'm humbled and awed by God's still small voice

:: hilarity that ensued in the car with Rachael after a painful Mariah solo

:: 3pm early closing Fridays at work

:: time spent with Larry on a mini date while my Mom and Dad kept Tanner

:: not having a plan but somehow being at peace about it

:: the ability to learn new tricks to spice up my blog

What a 2 Year Old Says to Random Strangers

2010-07-28T23:32:00.002-04:00

"Hi. I pee peed in the potty." or even better "Hi. I pooped in the potty."

Yes, these have now become Tanner's favorite things to share with anyone and everyone he comes in contact with.

For example, the other night Tanner and I were at Kohl's looking for jammies and returning a pair of shorts and in a matter of 10 minutes or less he had shared his new found mastery of the potty with approximately 3 families.

Blessedly, these families also had children and seemed to #1 not be phased and #2 roll with it and offer their congratulations.

The sweetest thing I witnessed that night was when we were leaving the store and Tanner and I were holding the door for an elderly gentleman that was carrying what looked like a large vaccuum cleaner box. Tanner of course in his true 2 year old fashion shared with this man that he pee peed in the potty. Well the older man didn't miss a beat. He said "Way to go buddy, that's pretty big news." and hi fived Tanner.

Well of course after that Tanner thought he was definitely hot stuff. He is so proud of himself and so are we. My baby is growing up too fast.

Something in the water...but not for me.

2010-07-25T23:22:00.003-04:00

Those of you who know me know that I want another baby, more than anything. And those of you who are close to me, know that it took us 7 years to get pregnant with Tanner. While Tanner is a huge blessing and the best thing that has ever happened to me, I feel an overwhelming desire to have another baby and it's just not happening.

I really wish that desire equaled getting what you want but I know that's not quite it, but wouldn't that be awesome? I know that God speaks to me through my trials and that He promises not to give me more than I can bear, but it really is tiring and honestly painful.

Another part of my struggle is that 8, yes 8, people that I know are currently pregnant. Also, the church that we attend has so many babies and pregnant ladies it's crazy. People say all the time, and say quite carelessly I must admit, to just drink the church water or something else meant to ease my pain but I still fail to hide a cringe.

I remind myself that God's plan is sovreign and that things happen according to His perfect timing, I just wish I could sneak a peak at those plans so the in between or wait time doesn't seem so long and perhaps wouldn't be so hard.

I think I Fixed it...Maybe?

2010-07-23T16:05:00.002-04:00

Last night I got a message when I opened my blog that said I was going to lose my back ground and I needed to change it before today. No time like the present I thought.

Well, with a little too much messing with it on my part, it went away. So today I went back and fiddled with it a little more and voila, I think I picked a new one that works.

What do you think? Can you see everything like before? Does it look ok?

Did I Totally Just Mess Up My Blog?

2010-07-22T21:08:00.002-04:00

Boo hiss if so. I just got a notice that I needed to edit one of my tabs so I didn't lose my background. Well...I think I lost it. I did exactly what it told me to but when I logged back into it, my background was gone and I couldn't really see my own writing.

www.TheCutestBlogOnTheBlock.com said it might take 24-48 to load quickly and correctly and I hope that's true. I'm going to be unhappy if I have to start from scratch since I finally got the colors just like I like them.

I will just have to tell myself it's not the end of the world because it really isn't. If you hear me chanting "it's ok" to myself over and over again, however, I might need an intervention since I made an oath to my girls to be a better blogger.

PS-I love my new netbook!

Pretty Cool Surprise

2010-07-21T19:40:00.003-04:00

I love surprises! I mean really, who doesn't, but the reason this surprise was so awesome is that it truly was a surprise. I'm sure you are raising at least one eye brow and wondering what in the world I'm talking about. Let me break it down.

I am not a fan of those kind of surprises that aren't really surprise, you know, the ones people mention before you can actually have whatever it is. Like when someone tells you they bought you the perfect birthday gift and its so awesome but your birthday is not for another month or so. It drives me crazy. I know it sounds silly, but I really love it when it's a true surprise and you had no clue it was coming. Those are the best.

Well this awesome surprise was Larry coming home with a new netbook computer for me for our anniversary, which is next month. This was a total surprise because even though we had talked about getting one, it was something I was thinking we would get with a tax return next year or some other far off date.

I've only had it for an hour but I really love it. Now, just to stop playing with it and put it away so I can wash some clothes and get back to paying attention to my family...yikes!!

Approaching Mother's Day

2010-05-05T11:20:00.002-04:00

As I think about the approaching Mother's Day holiday, I think it is sad that there are Moms out there that are only really celebrated once a year. I try to tell my own Mom as often as I can Thank You. My Mom does so much for me, and for Tanner and Larry, and really for anyone around her. She has a huge heart, is amazing and I am so thankful she is my Mom.

As a Mom myself, I don't need a present or a cake or any real celebration, I would just like some acknowledgement. Is that too much to ask? I would like my 2 year old to spontaneously tell me thank you or pick up his own toys without enciting a riot. I would like my husband to help said two year old put his/their dirty clothes in the laundry basket and dirty dishes in the sink. I would like the floor to be clean, especially in all major walkways in our house. I would like to have 5 minutes in the bathroom by myself without someone in there with me, trying to come in or banging on the door to get in there with me. Oh the joys of my life and as I've said before, oh the joys of Motherhood.

Honestly, I am so blessed, I wouldn't change a thing.

To you Mothers/Moms/Mommies/Mommas out there, Happy Mother's Day every day of the year - you deserve it!

Cudda Whichoo Momma

2010-03-15T16:43:00.001-04:00

In two year old speak, that’s “Cuddle with you Momma” which are some of the sweetest words I’ve ever heard.

Tanner is 100% boy so he rarely slows down but when I am blessed enough for him to slow down for just a few moments, he enjoys cuddling and I love it. I know there will come a time when he no longer wants to be with me, much less cuddle with me, so I am enjoying every second of it.

During some of the funkier winter months, we stayed inside and popped pop corn and watched movies. Tanner’s favorite has become Monsters, Inc which Larry and I could just about quote from memory by now. Although we were never proponents of vegging out, we’ve realized that he needs this as much as we do.

During our weekly viewing (or every couple of days if I'm being honest) of Monsters, Inc. (Tanner calls it Monfers) Larry, Tanner and I get in our comfy clothes, grab a snack and can be found huddled together on the couch with several blankets. It’s really become a sweet time that I look forward to. I hope it's on the agenda for tonight.

I love the little joys of motherhood. They make it all worth it.

Outside the Chicken Box

2010-03-02T13:58:00.003-05:00

I realized this morning while sitting at work and going through the email that I had collected since 5pm yesterday that I get probably 3-5 emails daily regarding recipes. I have to admit, I love it!

I get no other junk mail because our firewalls here at work are set so high but these amazing little recipe nuggets squeak past the filter semi undetected.

Each day I look forward to these recipes as they help me with my ‘step out of the chicken box’ fix. I’m sure some of you out there have gone through this too. 101 ways to fix chicken and what else can I cook in a crock pot.

They also add to the excitement of parties and get togethers that will inevitably end up a part of my busy life. Since I love to host, this is also a source of excitement for me.

I love to try new recipes and I especially love appetizers and desserts. I don’t know what it is about them but they hook me. I love looking over the new recipe and imaging if I have the ingredients in my cabinets and what the final product will look and taste like.

I know it’s all kind of silly but as I’m typing this entry I received an email from Pillsbury for Asian Sliders and all I can do is smile and wonder when Asian Sliders will be on the menu at the Gagnon house.

Do you have any recipes that you think I would love? Is there a favorite website that you use? I do have to mention that my top favs are www.allrecipes.com, www.kraftfoods.com and www.pillsbury.com. (sorry the links wouldn't show up, I tried several times but to no avail, advice is welcomed)

The Break Up Letter Rebuttals

2010-02-18T09:30:00.000-05:00

Thanks to my friend Jill, she and Winter wrote me a rebuttal letter to my initial break up letter. Enjoy.

Dear Jamie,

Don't think you can get rid of me so easily. I remember the first days that we spent together. You wanted me... you desired me. And I played an important part in your changing seasons.

I settled in and made myself comfortable. The children adored me and looked forward to seeing me every day. And now, just when I'm getting settled in... you are ready to call it quits? I feel used and abandoned.

I won't give up as easily as you think. You have not seen the last of me.
So.... sleep with one eye open.

Yours truly,
Winter

So of course in true Jamie fashion, I have to put Winter in it’s place. Here it my rebuttal to their rebuttal. In your face Winter. Hmmmph.

Dear Winter,

I was hoping we could have an amicable parting but I see from your rebuttal letter that is not the case.

Although you are right that in the beginning I did want you, I even desired you, now I feel like I can not get away from you fast enough and to some degree that hurts worse. I was really hoping we could remain friends however trite that sounds.

You make my skin dry to the point of cracking, burning and itching. It is not pleasant and it makes that initial desire and warm feelings turn into bitterness and resentment. I lay awake night after night trying to scratch that unreachable itch. I am tired of wearing sensible shoes and a bulky coat and scarf because of your painful chill that even with multiple layers, I can not escape. You have stolen from me several weekends and made me shovel your droppings day after day. I’ve just grown weary of your antics.

Winter, please understand that we are through. I didn’t want to hurt your feelings but I can see that it won’t be easy to make you thoroughly understand that I do not want to see you anymore. Please go away…and if you see Spring on your way out, don’t be alarmed, he’s “just a friend”.

The Break Up Letter

2010-02-17T15:24:00.001-05:00

Dear Winter,

We’ve been together now for several months and I just don’t think it’s working out.

Our relationship was beautiful in the beginning as your white fluffy flakes fell from the sky. It made me feel happy as I blinked it off my eyelashes and caught it on my tongue. It even closed my work for a day and other work days we opened late or closed early. They were truly bright points in our relationship that I will never forget.

Sadly, now the white fluffy goodness is a gray slushy mess on the side of the road and it’s become much harder than it used to be. We used to have fun, but now it just seems like we have to work too hard. I have grown tired of the layers that I must put on day after day to avoid your cold chill. My skin is pale and itchy and I miss seeing the grass. Perhaps we have run our course.

Believe me when I say I don’t blame you for anything and that truly it’s not you, it’s me. We’re also in a different place now than when this relationship first began. At first I was trying to escape Summer’s oppressive heat and Autumn just passed by too quickly. I think we’ve just grown a part. I want you to know that I enjoyed our time together and I will cherish the memories we’ve made together but that I can no longer see you. I wish you well and I hope you find true happiness.

With Fondness,

Jamie

Valentines Day

2010-02-15T14:18:00.001-05:00

Usually Valentines Day is just another day at our house. I don’t mean to make that sound sad, pessimistic or lame, it’s just the way it is.

I have a very hard time being mainstream, always have. This includes Valentines Day which is overly commercial and makes me irritated to some degree. So we’ve just somewhat avoided it.

With that being said, this Valentines Day was the best that I’ve had in years. I think because the usual focus is to be romantic so occasionally you feel let down when the romance isn’t what it perhaps used to be. Well this year, I had a new Valentine and my day was very different.

First my date picked me up and even came to the door. We went to Target which is one of my favorite places and then had a fabulous cheeseburger on a crescent at Sundae Grill. After that we saw New Moon together again (Oh Bella, why do you always breathe so weird? You get on my nerves). We laughed and overall had a fabulous date. Thanks Jill for an amazing afternoon and evening! You are a great Valentine and an awesome friend!!

Can It Get Any Shorter?

2010-02-11T16:29:00.001-05:00

The answer is yes. The question, while initially vague, refers to my hair.

Today I got a hair cut from a new guy named Alex. This is the same new guy that my mom just started going to. He’s a little hicky but gives a mean cut.

He cut my hair and he stopped. We both looked at it and he cut it some more. He stopped and we looked at it again together and he cut it some more. This went on for probably 20 minutes.

He never second guessed himself; he just wanted to make sure he liked what he was doing. I agree that this is a good method especially since my hair is tricky. It’s thick and wavy although I wear it straight and short. I used to think cutting short hair was easy, I was wrong.

When he was finally satisfied and finished I loved it. It’s shorter than usual, which isn’t saying that much, but it’s short. It feels great, hip and kind of funky. Again, I love it.

The best part? Not only do I love it, it was $12. That’s right, I said $12. You can’t even go to the mall and get a Master Cuts hair cut for $12. He didn’t shampoo it since I had done that this morning but that would have only been $4 more. I got a great cut and I’m not broke after the fact.

So go see Alex and save some dough!

Circles of Friends

2010-02-10T14:25:00.002-05:00

Sometimes I wonder how to best be a part of different groups of friends. Does anyone else go through this?

I have several diverse circles of friends and while I feel blessed to have these friends, I find it interesting that they don’t overlap. It’s almost like they can’t overlap. Maybe that’s because what makes us individuals creates the parameters for the group. All of these circles are great for different reasons and each of them helps me grow in some way. I find it more fascinating than anything.

I have 1 to 2 friends that I have been friends with all my life while I have new friends that I have known for less than a year and even less than several months. I have friends from elementary, middle and high school and friends from college. I have friends from work and church. I have Bunco, Twilight and Facebook friends. I have individual friends that are also a part of couple friends. It’s crazy and I love it.

These groups rarely if ever overlap although there have been occasions when this has happened. Sometimes it's awkward, sometimes it's just fine, sometimes it's perfect and sometimes I make more friends and come out the other side better for having made the leap.

Again, I feel so blessed to be surrounded by so many wonderful and diverse people. I love you friends!

The Little Joys of Motherhood

2010-02-08T11:17:00.001-05:00

I tried to post this Thursday of last week but had a few troubles. Anyway, please read the post below as if it was last Thursday.

Yesterday my little man pee peed in the potty. Twice. It's kind of a big deal. He also wore big boy underwear. That's kind of a big deal too.

We have been loosely potty training Tanner for a little over a month now and so far so good. The reason I say loosely is because we were still in the "feeling it out" stages to see if he was ready. Since he's newly 2, we definitely didn't want to push him if he wasn't ready. We figured slow and steady wins the race.

He had previously pee peed in the potty a few times, but never twice in a row with no accidents in between and prior to yesterday he hadn't pee peed in the potty at all at preschool. Well I got an email yesterday morning from his teachers saying he pee peed in the potty and his teachers and preschool pals went nuts doing the potty dance. They said it was hilarious and Tanner loved the potty dance more than he liked the treat.

I think tonight we might check out training pants. That seems to be the next step since prior to putting on "big boy" underwear we didn't have a lot of consistency.

He tells me all the time, "No dypa Momma, unna waya". Sounds like he might just be ready. He's such a monkey!

My Friend, My Calendar

2010-02-02T14:11:00.000-05:00

For 3 years now I have used the same calendar and I love it. It’s called Busy Body Book (www.busybodybook.com - currently has a sale too) and it’s just amazing. It’s mainly set up for all the many schedules Moms and families have to juggle and has 5 “slots” so each family member can have their own block of time for their activity for a particular day.

Let me start by saying, I don’t use my Busy Body Book how it’s really meant to be used. I use it how it works best for me. Since I still keep a paper calendar rather than use a scheduler on a mobile device, I made it fit my life and my personality.

My BBB is small yet big enough to handle how large I write. The pages are thick so it handles how hard I press my pen. It also has plenty of space for whatever I need to write for a specific day or week (it has a week at a time view). It also has a half lined half blank page on the left hand side for any random notes. Its spiral bound so it lays flat rather than folding up as soon as I start to write something.

I also like a little color in my life and the BBB is plain on the inside so I write most events in blue ink, special events like birthdays and anniversaries in red ink and I mark payday for Tanner’s preschool in green (fun and anal retentive at the same time).

In addition to the color I add myself; I add a special picture on the left hand side of the calendar. This new project alone has been so entertaining. I started by Googling a picture of an orange gerbera daisy. I found 1 I liked, and then I found another and another. I printed them out and cut and adhered them to the left side of my BBB. Then I Googled other fun stuff; vacation destinations, pictures of the cast of The Big Bang Theory, a random picture of a donkey that makes me laugh every time I see it, icebergs (they really are fascinating), lightning, sun rises, and more. I am looking forward to filling my BBB up with 52 of the coolest pictures I can find. So far, they all make me smile.

Snow Days

2010-01-30T22:20:00.002-05:00

Snow days, for most people, are relaxing and fun. Most of the time I agree with this.

Something about today though... I do not feel relaxed and I did not have fun.

Rewind: Tanner has breathing troubles. He had RSV when he was 7 week old and whenever he gets even the slightest sniffle, we are doing breathing treatments several times a day. When he has a hard time breathing, he has a hard time sleeping. When he has a hard time sleeping, we all have a hard time sleeping.

So combine little sleep with general tiredness from the work week and you have a Momma who tried really hard to make it a fun day but fell apart several times. I found myself exhausted and quite honestly sad that I couldn't make it a more fun day.

We played with his Thomas the train set until of course he was done and threw the tracks. He's 2. It happens. We played with his Rody bouncer until he was done with that and threw it. Again, it happens. We are working on not throwing things, but he doesn't always hit the mark. Everything it seems like we did today ended up not the way I thought it would go in my head. It just wasn't that fun.

I think it's me.

I used to really like the snow but today it just made me feel stuck.

I hope that tomorrow is better and perhaps we can go out and play in it. That should be more fun. Right?

I am not a worrier but having Tanner out in cold wet weather makes me hesitate. I would love to play out in it for hours, throwing it, eating eat, sleigh riding, making snow angels, etc. Truth of the matter is that we can only be out in it with him for small increments of time, making sure he is dry and doesn't get wet or overheated. This is true for all of us.

At any rate, I hope I wake up tomorrow and the sun is shining and there is no more snow on the ground than there is right now, even less is preferable. I also hope I wake up in the morning after having a full night's rest with a better attitude. Here's hoping.

Mixed Emotions

2009-08-23T22:51:00.002-04:00

You ever have one of those times in your life that although things seem to be going ok, you still feel like you are in a major funk? I don't know what my deal is but that last few weeks I have felt run down and a little on the cranky side. Again, I have no idea what my deal is or what exactly this stems from... but I have some ideas.

1. My mom asked me if I was sick. I don't feel sick, just tired and tired of crap in particular. Several things are going on around me that are out of my control and I just want to be able to 1. change them or 2. make them go away.

2. My teammate from work is now out on maternity leave and where as I am truly happy for her, I am doing all her work in addition to mine while she is out. The work is tough, time consuming, I am stressed and I don't have enough hours in the day to get it all done. I don't function well being behind.

3. I don't have a sounding board that gets me.

4. I still want a baby and I'm tired of feeling broken.

5. I'm having trouble with my speech again.

6. I miss my true girlfriends, road trips and the beach.

This is just the short list. The list of things going well is much longer though so that's a plus, I know I'm loved and I do feel blessed. Thanks to Jill, I am also putting my 101 Things That Make Me Smile list in place.

Enjoying Some Fam Time

2009-08-18T14:19:00.002-04:00

In a previous blog I stated that we were getting ready to have Larry's family stay with us for a while. Well...they are here! I love having family around and since Larry's family is from CA, we don't get to see them all that much. They are staying with us for an entire week and keeping Tanner since his sitter is closed. We are all loving it. Tanner is really enjoying waking up and seeing his Mimi and Papa.

Today we went to Kid's Cove at at TRBC but it was short lived because it was crowded and Tanner really just wanted to run around. We were trying to think of something inside to do since it's so stinking hot outside. After Kid's Cove we went to Toys R Us where the grandparents bought him a toddler 4 wheeler. It's really small and super cute. I can't wait for him to ride it.

What to do for the rest of the week. Today is the only day I am able to take off because my teammate is having a baby tomorrow. She is being induced and I have been advised that I can not take any vacation while she is gone. I will save that rant for another blog. Anyway...

Off to plan something for tomorrow and dinner for tonight!

Back to blogging...and a haircut

2009-08-10T16:11:00.003-04:00

First, my apologies to those who need me to blog more often so they have something to help them waste time. I am sorry I have been a complete blog slacker. I will try to do better. My goal is at least once a week. The thing is, I want to blog when I'm at work because I'm at the computer all day but when I get home, being on the computer is the last thing I want to do. Anyway, I Jamie Gagnon, promise to be a better blogger.

Second, I got my hair cut. I was trying to let it grow out but it was getting to that disastrous part where every day I asked myself what I was doing. What was I thinking?! Since my hair is naturally curly, I was just fighting against nature and sadly, I was losing. My hair was getting to the point where it would take me at least 20-30 minutes just to get it blow dried and flatened. And did it stay that way for long, nope. As soon as any sort of humidity hit it, it would frizz. It feels much better and I think I'll keep it short for a while.

Well, off to finish some chores. Larry's family is coming in from CA next week and I need to get the house in order...

Free Time

2009-05-18T19:18:00.002-04:00

What is that you may ask? I feel like I haven't a clue myself.

Af.ter. a l.on.g day. st.ar.t.ng. with. .getting up ear.ly, drivin.g to Greensbor..o, worki.ng and attending meetings.., driving back h.om.e from Gr..eensboro, attemp.ti.ng to change cloth.es .with a toddl.er.......... hanging on my leg, fe.ed.ing said toddler and attemp.ti.ng to feed mysel.f, I AM WHOOPED. Ab.solutely and unequi.vocably who.oped. I am so tired I. feel delirious. I'm sur.e y..ou are saying to y.ourself then how in t.he world are you blogg.ing? Easy answer, Tan.ner. i.s s..itt.ing right h.ere w.ith m.e hi.tting. the .space .bar.. an.d random peri.ods...

Random Knuckle Pain

2009-05-14T10:46:00.000-04:00

Over the past several months I have experienced this unbelievable pain in the lowest knuckle of my pointer finger on my left hand. For a long time it felt like it just needed to be cracked (I crack my knuckles all the time anyway) but cracking the knuckle never relieved the pain completely.

Just recently, this pain has become increasingly more painful until I almost feel like I need to take something to relieve the ache and tenderness. I have a very high tolerance for pain and over all body annoyances (headaches, cramps, etc) but this isn’t like any other pain I’ve experienced before.

The pain starts in the knuckle but radiates up my finger and almost across the top of my hand. This is worsened by the fact that I have a desk job and type like a mad man. Sometimes the pain is sharp and sometimes it’s a dull ache. It does feel better when I apply ice but the only time I can do this is at night once my day is slowed down considerably and Tanner is asleep.

No worries though. It will have to just about fall off before I see the doctor about it. Gotta love health insurance (or lack there of).

I could just kick myself...

2009-05-07T14:49:00.001-04:00

Although this afternoon snack consisting of light fudge creme between two rich, dark chocolate cookies and a wave of fudge icing over the top may sound like it would be great, but the minute I finish the last bite, I regret it.

Almost instantly I feel like I am going to be sick or I need to lie down. I know this feeling is my own doing, or over doing of sugar, so I just have to suck it up and take the punishment. Hopefully it will pass soon.

I decided to blog in an attempt to get my mind off of how bad I feel. I guess I should have picked a different topic. Anyway, previously to eating this delicious afternoon treat, I loved them. The small ones are just enough sugar to give me a little boost without making me feel sick but the big ones...what a bad idea. I mean BAD IDEA. The big ones are for those of us who seem to lack self control around sweets I suppose.

Well, I’m starting to feel better and wake up a bit. That’s nice because I didn’t end up being sick after all. Hopefully I have learned my lesson and will stick to my current favorite snack of pretzel sticks that contain no sugar whatsoever.

Camping at Douthat, Part 2

2009-05-05T16:39:00.001-04:00

We woke up again Saturday morning to a sprinkle of rain. Nothing major, just enough to slow down progress. Thank goodness it quickly tapered off and the sun came out.

Larry and I fixed breakfast for our camp since the rest of our group was still snoozing away and we enjoyed fabulous pancakes and sausage. I really do think we eat better when we are camping then when we are at home. By the time we were wrapping up breakfast, the rest of the gang was awake and moving. We piddled around the campsite for most of the morning and played more ladder golf.

Next thing you know it was lunch time. We knew we wanted to go for a long bike ride so we ate a quick sandwich lunch and then packed up the bikes for a 6 mile “flat” ride. When we got to the location where the trail started, we quickly realized that it was going to be a little wet, muddy, buggy, rocky in most places, and definitely not flat but we decided to go for it. (keep in mind, I am pulling Tanner in a trailer behind me). To say the least, it was a very bumpy ride. Every few seconds either Tanner or myself would let out a “huh” or “ow”. All in all, it was an adventure I don’t think I will attempt again with the trailer. By the time the ride was done, it felt more like 15 miles. We ride 8-10 miles several times a week but this ride kicked my butt. Seriously kicked my butt.

After the ride, we went back to the camp ground to chill. The guys decided to go fishing and I thought it would be a great time to give Tanner a clean diaper and a snack and put him down for a nap. Wrong. He wanted to play and I wanted him to nap. I would have loved a nap too. I could tell that he was tired and it was nap time so it became a power struggle. He kept peeping up over the pack and play or calling my name or flat out screaming to get out of the pack and play. Again, since I could tell he was tired, I was determined that he was going to sleep. Wrong again. After fighting with him for about 45 minutes, I gave up. I got him out of the pack and play and laid down on the couch and told him that I was going to sleep. All I could hear for the minutes preceeding me getting off the couch was “Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama” and “out ide Mama” and “baw baw Mama”. So we went outside and played ball.

Later that night Larry lost majorly in a game of ladder golf so he had to give Tanner a bath and get him ready for bed. I hear him yell for me from inside the camper so I take off running thinking something is wrong with Tanner (Side note: Tanner currently has his 3rd black eye, he’s just that rough and tumble and clumsy. He’s all boy.). When I get to the camper, there is water on the floor, the shower/tub is leaking and leaking bad. Anyone that knows Larry Gagnon knows that he did not handle this well. That ruined most of the night and set the mood for me to turn in by 9:30. It was actually ok though because I was exhausted.

Sunday morning we woke up to a torrential downpour. No joke. It was coming at us from all sides. Again, for those of you who know Larry Gagnon, he did not handle this well. Also, anyone who’s set up or taken down a tent in the rain knows it’s miserable. It takes us twice as long, we are both soaking wet and banged up. Everything is so slippery when it’s wet that everything you touch you end up either falling down or running into something on the camper. We also did all of this in shifts since Tanner was with us. He fussed most of the time because we couldn’t pay enough attention to him and he let us know it. Miserable. Just plain miserable. So, several hours later when we are finally packed up and ready to go, it’s time for Tanner to eat. Well, we forgot about the time thing so we had packed most of the food and Larry was ready to go. I had to feed Tanner a cereal bar and some crackers from the front seat. Talk about motion sickness. Pleugh.

Anyway, over all it was a good trip but I don’t think we will ever camp again with any significant chance of rain on the day we set up or take down. Oh yeah, on a good note, we ate breakfast at the camp restaurant in hopes that the rain would slow down or stop all together. Although neither of those things happened, I had some fabulous hot cakes and bacon!

Camping at Douthat, Part 1

2009-05-04T10:25:00.003-04:00

Talk about a camping trip with some ups and downs.

We were on the road at a good time Thursday night, able to have time for a quick McDonalds in and out, and we still made it to Douthat in time to set up before the sun completely went down. So far so good right? Wrong. We woke up to Tanner screaming at 4 am. We figure he woke up and didn’t know where he was so he couldn’t just settle himself down and go back to sleep. I held him, changed him, wrapped him up, and rocked him until finally we broke our own cardinal rule and put him in the bed with us. He did however go back to sleep as soon as he snuggled up to Larry. It was cute. Just like when Tanner was a tiny baby asleep on Larry’s chest.

Ok, so we're back on a good note. We woke up to a little bit of rain Friday morning, nothing major, but enjoyed a little bit of chill time because of it. We read books, played with a new squishy ball, had a fabulous breakfast of bacon and eggs and then goofed off with Jason, Stormy and the kids when they finally woke up (of course we were up early, we have a 17 month old, remember?).

Later in the day Stormy and Kara went for a 3 miles + hike and the boys went fishing. Since Tanner and I couldn’t really do either, we did our own thing. I went for a bike ride with him behind me in the trailer. What an adventure that was. There are no bike trails in Douthat so you are riding on the main road and through other campgrounds. The main roads aren't traveled all that heavily but it did make me nervous so I felt like to rode that much harder and faster to get to the next campsite or turn off. Tanner and I eventually ended up at the lake/beach area where the guys were fishing. We watched them and played around that part for a bit then went on a little walk down on the beach part with our feet in the sand and water. Tanner really liked the sand beneath his toes. We found a little playground and played there for a long time. We continued our walk to the other side of the lake where he decided it was time for a snack by saying “cacka cacka” over and over and over and over and over again. I didn’t think we would be gone as long as we were so I left his backpack in the trailer but I did have the sense to bring $5 in my pocket and God bless the camp store for being close and for having crackers!

The rest of the day was rather uneventful but fun. Larry bought a ladder golf game that turned out to be awesome. It’s a simple game but we are a competitive bunch so we played it for a long time and everyone kept challenging each other (only 2 people can play at once).

Friday night was Jason and Stormy’s night for dinner and we had some great cheeseburgers, chips and dip, and fresh veggies. It was great. Later that night, Jason built a nice fire and we chilled and made smores. All in all, it was a great day.

Stay tuned for details from the rest of the trip and believe me, there’s more...

Random Thoughts

2009-03-26T20:16:00.002-04:00

Sometimes I suffer from bloggers block. I've recently had so much going on that I feel like I almost don't know where to begin in my sharing.

First, I think I'll start with my job...it's been extremely hectic but it is so much more challenging than it was previously. I am really happy, finally. I have been trusted with a fairly decent "book" and I'm back to mixing it up with my clients. I really like this aspect of customer service. My job is fast paced and changes daily.

Second, I think I'll hit the highlights on my current "mental status"...I was previously very stressed out by the mere idea of not knowing how Tanner would do on a plane or with a 3 hour time change traveling to and from California. Since he did great, I am feeling more secure and less "stuck". Larry and I used to travel all the time but since Tanner was born we have only ventured to places we can drive. Now we are back in the game! Larry is thinking about Hawaii for our 10th anniversary and making it a large family trip.

Lastly, I think I'll tell you all about something random...like knowing when is the right time to get pregnant. I said it was random, don't act like I didn't give you a heads up.

Since Larry and I know we will actually have to go back to the OB to have "a procedure" and not much will be left up to chance, we've been debating when is the right time to get pregnant. We used to think it was late summer, maybe mid fall, then it became May, now it's up in the air and for once, I am ok with this. I have been praying a lot about it and I truly believe that God has something really big in store for several of my friends, He's telling me to wait, and then it will be my time. It's good to have faith and to trust that His plan and timing on all things is perfect.

Well, off to watch American Idol....go Adam Lambert. He's a little skanky, but for some reason, I kind of like it! Ha ha!

California Adventures

2009-03-25T13:48:00.003-04:00

Wow. It seems like forever since I've blogged. Sorry about that avid readers. (AKA Cathy who needs an excuse to take a break from work every once in awhile, j/k!)

Well, we are back from California and it was a GREAT trip! It's something about a girls trip (for the most part) that is cathartic. Larry's dad, also named Larry, was only around for a day and a half and the rest of the time it was me, Tanner (who doesn't really count as a guy at this stage in his life since he doesn't weigh in on daily outings and activities), Larry's Mom Linda, and my Mom.

We went to Disneyland, California Adventure Park, visited with the west coast crew (Larry's family who is also amazing), ate out a lot, shopped, and played at local parks. I also drove on the freeway a ton and thoroughly enjoyed going 85-90 miles an hour in a rental car. We just had an awesome time.

While at Disneyland Tanner, Mom and I rode the Teacups and Tanner kept turning the wheel in the middle making us spin faster and faster. We also rode Dumbo, the carosel, the cars, the train, and more. He went to sleep on Its a Small World. Crazy. Who could sleep through all those lights and creepy little singing puppets? Not me, those things freak me out a little.

Tanner was also really good on all 4 flights, even both 5 hour flights. What an absolute miracle! Some of the passengers got a kick out of him as we boarded the planes because while we were going down the aisle he was waving to everyone saying "Hi. Hi." and slapping hands saying "Five. Five." I tell you that kid is crazy. Several people commented on how well behaved he was. That's just called being prepared with games, songs, and definitely snacks, snacks, and more snacks. Did I mention I had snacks?

I do have to say that although I have a really fabulous time, it's good to be home. I love my home and realize that I am so blessed to have a home to come home too. May your home be a place of safety, warmth, and peace. Much love :o)

Getting Ready

2009-03-11T13:56:00.002-04:00

This weekend Larry and I are going to Va Beach with Jason and Stormy and staying with them in their time share condo. I am so excited and can hardly wait.

I am really looking forward to:

1. adult time
2. adult conversations
3. there being no squeeky toys banged against the oven door
4. not having to pack lunches
5. not changing stinky "you smelled it first" diapers
6. a break, no work, no plans, no where to be at any specific time
7. endless, mindless walks on the beach

After a few hectic weeks with not feeling well, my Grandma having a pacemaker put in and then a stroke, to having to say goodbye to Pepper...it's just been really hard. It will be very nice to have a few moments to be carefree.

With that said, reality is going to smack me hard in the face when we come back Sunday and I have to get Tanner and I ready for our trip to California that leave at 6am on Tuesday. Yikes!

Saying Goodbye

2009-03-05T16:55:00.003-05:00

It is with great sadness and heartache that I type this blog (and was also sent as an email) to let you all know that yesterday evening Larry and I tearfully said goodbye to a peaceful Pepper. We are truly blessed to have had such a wonderful addition to our family for 13 amazing years (thank you Mom and Dad for one of the best gifts ever!).

Although my heart literally aches, I know that Pepper is in a much better place and is completely pain free now.

When we first learned that he had liver cancer this past fall, we just prayed that he would make it through the holidays. Well, God blessed us with several months in addition to that and we are truly thankful for the lasting memories we have and new ones we were able to make.

Please continue to keep us in your prayers as time heals these wounds.

I love you all very much!

Pepper

2009-03-03T15:09:00.002-05:00

My 13 year old Miniature Schnauzer, Pepper, was diagnosed with liver cancer towards the end of last year. We have recently been smacked in the face with the realization that he is in his final days. Actually, tomorrow we take him to the vet and believe she is going to tell us it's time.

I think we know it's time, but it's hard to close that kind of chapter in your life by choice.

I got Pepper as a cheer up/birthday gift after I came home from Radford broken. It was a miserable year for the most part and when I came home, my parents tried many things to cheer me up. Pepper was a real light for me then and one of the main things that helped me through that time. He would untie my shoes, try to sleep on my head, sit on the bath rug and wait for me to get out of the shower, go anywhere I would go in the jeep, and much much more. He really was that perfect companion and friend.

Over the last couple of years, we could tell that his health was starting to fail, but we chalked it up to getting older. When we found out he had cancer, we were stunned but it made sense. He had become distant and just wanted to mainly be by himself. This has been very hard to watch and tomorrow will extremely difficult. Please keep us all in your prayers.

Baby Book

2009-02-19T19:18:00.002-05:00

Ok, so not only am I a blog slacker, I'm a baby book slacker. Tanner is now 15 months old and his baby book is barely started, much less up to date.

I have been toying with the idea for sometime to do one of those online books that I've seen advertised on Shutterfly, Snapfish or Piknic. The ones where you do it yourself online, submitting your pictures from your computer and adding your own memories and tidbits of info. My friend Jill has several and I think they were done online at Creative Memories, not sure, but that's kind of the idea, just a little bit more frilly and baby boyish.

I just want to be able to have something to remember all the things that happened in his first year and maybe some day be able to pass it along to him when he has his own children. For the record, I have written down everything that has happened from height and weight, to first teeth, to first steps. Maybe I'll get started on that next week because girls weekend with Cathy, HERE I COME!!

Valentines Day

2009-02-16T14:16:00.002-05:00

Valentines Day at our house is usually just like any other day. Since it's so commercialized we usually do something together but it's not a big production. I have banned receiving flowers since I think they are a gross waste of money unless I have just birthed a baby. That's the only exception, so far.

So Saturday began like any other day. I woke to Tanner laughing and playing in his crib, walked across the house, cleaned up Pepper's poop along the way (becoming a daily/nightly occurence), and spotted something different out of the corner of my eye. I usually get up, use the bathroom, brush my teeth, and then head to get little man up. Contacts or glasses are usually something I think about half way across the house when I'm concentrating on not stepping in a possible poop pile so what I saw out of the corner of my eye didn't make sense until I got much closer to it. It was a bike in my living room. It looks like either Santa was late or Cupid made decided to make an appearance. Either way, my new bike rocks and I love it!

We spend most of the weekend riding since Larry and I both have bikes and Tanner has a trailer. It really is awesome!!!

What I Wouldn't Give for a Donut...

2009-02-10T09:31:00.002-05:00

Ok, so, I've been doing Weight Watchers for a couple of weeks now and lost a couple of pounds (8 to be exact). The only thing I haven't lost is my craving for that which has added to my current weight predicament - donuts.

I used to not care a thing about donuts. I mean, I liked them, but not like Cathy liked them :o) Chocolate was always my thing. Now, it seems that since I don't do a lot of sugar, my body misses it and I'm seriously craving something sweet and cakey. Which brings me back to donuts.

The really good thing about Weight Watchers is that everything is assigned a point value and you keep track of your daily points, trying to hit a certain number. So, in theory, I could have a donut as long as I calculated the points and made sure I didn't go over my point allowance for the day. Also, WW gives you an extra 35 points a week to use if you have a birthday party or company picnic or something to attend where the choices might not be so great. So, with my 35 extra points, I'm stock piling them for my weekend visit with Cathy in two weeks so I can have a donut!!

TGIF

2009-01-30T11:50:00.003-05:00

For real. This has been a LONG week. Nothing major or bad or anything like that, just long. I have had several projects at work that are just about finished and I've had several projects at home that didn't even get started. Oh well. Maybe this coming week I will get my "stuff" in order.

Something that I did do reluctantly, after dragging my feet for a week or so, is complete a "25 Random Things About Me" note on Facebook. When I first started to see them posted I said I didn't have time to do one, I didn't want to do one, and that I thought they were silly. Then I read my friend Kevin's "list" and it was great. It was heartfelt and funny. It was real and fairly eye opening. It got me to thinking about my 25 random things. They are things that I rarely admit outloud or that few people may know and some are just funny and quirky things about me that people have known forever.

So I'm posting my list here for those of you that read this and don't Facebook (Cathy).

25 Random Things About Jamie

1. The older I get I find that I am more like Mr. Rogers and laugh…as soon as I get home from work I change out of my work clothes and shoes and put on either my favorite jeans or yoga pants, a t-shirt, and either my crocs or bedroom slippers. The only things I’m missing are a cardigan sweater and creepy puppets.
2. It took 7 years and many tests, procedures, and surgeries to get pregnant with our now 14 month old son Tanner.
3. My husband Larry and I have been married for 8 years and we’ve been together for 11.
4. Tanner is the joy of my life and a true miracle baby. He’s a pretty funny kid too.
5. My dream job would be working with kids or adults with disabilities in a creative and fun setting with little to no paperwork OR opening my own kitchen store and offering cooking and baking classes.
6. I really enjoy hanging out with my brother and sister-in-law and their kids. We are a tight bunch and have a lot of fun together.
7. I used to play bass guitar (sadly not very well) in a rock/punk/grunge band name Taming Meat while in high school.
8. I really enjoy camping, again, especially with my brother and sister-in-law. We have a pop up camper (we got one after they did and saw how awesome it is) and it is such an upgrade from tent camping.
9. I twirled a flag in the colorguard at HHS for 3 years and it was awesome and we had some really great times. People seemed confused that I didn’t do it for all 4 years but I played volleyball my freshman year.
10. I am blessed in so many ways but especially by the people I am surrounded by. I have the best best friends in the world – My Mom, Jill, Cathy, Stormy, Renee, Jason, and Larry.
11. I listen to a lot of random music. On my iPod currently is Pearl Jam, Neil Diamond, Dave Matthews, Tori Amos, Bob Marley, The Killers, Sinead O’Conner, Credence Clearwater Revival, David Crowder Band, Blind Melon, Limp Bizkit, and more.
12. I have the same iPod as my 8 year old nephew and my 5 year old niece but their iPods are actually cooler because they are fun colors.
13. My husband is from California. We met through “mutual friends” – Ha ha! It’s only funny if you know the real story.
14. I enjoy blogging (www.all10toes.blogspot.com) but sometimes feel, what I imagine is, writers block.
15. I eat lunch with my Grandma every Wednesday and have for years. Usually we split a sandwich, have a handful of chips, and pickles. She sits one small piece of chocolate with my keys for my ride back to work. (Random side note but my Grandma is the youngest sibling of 13 and my Papa was the youngest sibling of 16.)
16. I was voted Class Clown for senior superlatives in the Heritage year book. Who would have guessed?
17. My parents are two of the sweetest people you will ever meet. They care so much about others and both of them would do anything for anybody at any time. They are an inspiration to Larry and I since they have also been married for 38 years.
18. I really like to ride my bike and am thinking about getting a new bike maybe for my birthday. The one I still ride is almost 14 years old.
19. I’m a firm believer that growing old is mandatory but growing up is optional.
20. I swam competitively from the time I was 3 until my freshman year in college. The younger years of swimming were some of the best years of my life.
21. From 4th grade until I graduated from college I went to 8 different schools.
22. I loved loved loved reading the Twilight Saga although I swore I wouldn’t read it. They were the first books in a long time that seriously challenged my imagination and I struggled to put them down. I love to read now but hated it when I was a child.
23. My favorite holiday is the 4th of July. I love that we get together as a family, eat a good meal, usually something from the grill, go to the ballgame and then watch fireworks. No gifts or panicking involved just a chill day.
24. I love water and love every chance I get to be at the pool, lake, ocean, water park, etc although I am deathly afraid of drowning and what lurks in the water that I can’t see.
25. My brother and I speak in movie lines. It drives some people crazy. We love it.

Oh to have today off...

2009-01-19T10:06:00.003-05:00

Didn't happen. What a rude awakening when I realized that unlike the majority of my family and friends, I have to work today. What I wouldn't give for an extra hour of sleep (Tanner still wakes up somewhat early) and to stay in my pajamas all morning. Maybe we would have visited others that have the day off, maybe we would have gone out to eat, maybe we would have stayed home and played with toys and made a huge, fun mess. Who knows.

As I sit here at my desk at work, in my tiny cubicle, I wish I could be anywhere but here, just for today, doing something with my little man.

Also, on another random note, thanks to Jill I have gotten the paint bug. I hope to be able to convince Larry that adding color to our living room will be really great. I might need some advice in the color department. I have been going back and forth between a light sagey green or a darker khaki brown that is hard to describe but I recently saw at a friends house and it's great. Anyway, I have to do something different in our great room to bring a little life to it. Please feel free to weigh in. Our furniture is a medium khaki color with black accents, the wood is a chesnut cherry, and the picture frames are mostly black. I welcome all suggestions!

Pictures from back in the day

2009-01-12T13:28:00.006-05:00

Man, those were some good times. The first 3 pictures are from Sandusky pool - swim team fun and I think the last picture had to be from a piano recital since John D was there! Ha ha!

Oh Good Gracious

2009-01-05T11:23:00.002-05:00

Ugh. Trying to lose weight absolutely stinks. What a miserable thing to do. But I'm going to do it. I am the poster child for failed diets but I'm also the poster child for I want what I want when I want it so I should have seen this coming.

So today I started Weight Watchers. I weighed in this morning (totally abysmal and embarrasing and it was just me in the bathroom with the scale) and we are having weekly sessions here at work. I'll weigh every Monday and take the successes and failures as they come. I'm walking with a group here during our lunch break and I'm walking and riding my bike on the weekends (due to the fact that it's dark when I wake up and dark when I get home from work).

My long term goal is 30 pounds although I need to lose about 50. I think 30 is both realistic and attainable. I am really looking forward to getting off the rest of this baby weight and hopefully clothes shopping will be fun again. Here's to my health!

Here's to 2009

2009-01-02T11:31:00.000-05:00

Wishes, Prayers, and Dreams for 2009:

Have a girls weekend with Jill and Cathy
Camping trips: Smith Mountain Lake State Park, Douthat State Park, Fairy Stone State Park
Get pregnant
Hope Grandma’s health improves
Do something completely spontaneous
Pay off last credit card
Redecorate the living room
Get back to riding my bike
Lose about 30 pounds (or more)
Ride the Virginia Creeper Trail (anyone want to do this with me?)
Eat breakfast out with Larry

So, here's to 2009.It's going to be an awesome year.

Late Christmas Post

2008-12-31T10:52:00.004-05:00

Sorry for my lateness regarding Christmas but ours was put on hold because we became the house of puke and poop. Sorry too to be so graphic but it was awful. We actually didn't do a thing on Christmas Day except lie around and wish the bug would pass quickly. We took turns tending to Tanner since me, my Mom, Dad, and Larry all had the gastro bug starting at 1:01am Christmas Day. Again it was awful.

Well, enough of that. We are better now, finally finished opening all the presents, bought a new microwave since ours caught on fire the week before Christmas, and are settling back into work routines. We are introducing Tanner to the plethora of toys he received and deciding which toys to donate. He got so many and after just having a birthday, it really is ridiculous so we're going to give some of them away. Any local ideas? We are trying to teach Tanner at a young age to be selfless and giving so it sticks with him throughout his life.

My favorite gift is the first two books in the Twilight series. I know this may sound silly since it's about young love with a vampire but I really have enjoyed the ability to step away from reality for a little while. I finished Twilight in less than 3 days and now I'm reading the second book in the series, New Moon. I want to go see the movie but I can't convince Larry that this is a good idea. I might just go see it by myself. We'll see.

So what was your favorite Christmas gift, story, or memory?

My Christmas Tree

2008-12-23T13:42:00.002-05:00

Jamie - Can we leave it up year round? It's just so pretty.
Larry - Have you lost your mind?
Jamie - Maybe.
Larry - It's 9 feet tall and takes up a large part of the room. No.
Jamie - But the lights are awesome and it adds color and dimension to this room.
Larry - You have lost your mind.
Jamie - Then after Christmas I'm painting this room.
Larry - That sounds nice. What color?
Jamie - Who said anything about a color. I'm paining a big tree, right here in the corner :o)

Merry Christmas All!

All I Want for Christmas...

2008-12-22T10:40:00.002-05:00

is a nap.

Is that too much to ask ya think? I have felt unbelievably worn down lately and I'm not really sure why. I promise I am not doing too much as evidenced by my house not being as clean as I would like, there are some dirty clothes in the laundry room waiting to be washed, and there are random things in random places because I don't know where they need to live for the long haul. My Christmas shopping is done, it's mostly all wrapped and under the tree, and my holiday baking is done.

So why do I feel so whooped? No clue but I'm going to the doctor tomorrow because it seems like I have no energy to do anything and I feel worse when I get more sleep than usual (I don't require a lot of sleep, 5 hours or so but I've been getting like 7+). Anyway, I'm not alarmed just want to make sure my sugar isn't out of whack or my B12 isn't in the negative digits (my speech is starting to struggle which is why I suspect #2 is wonky again).

I think what will really help is getting my reserves back up from a few days off when I can stay in my jammers for a few hours more, play in the floor with Tanner, visit with family and friends, and actually eat real breakfast food at breakfast time.

So, if you happen to see Santa, put in a good word for me please. All Jamie wants for Christmas is a nap :o)

Blog Slacker

2008-12-17T14:50:00.002-05:00

What can I say? I'm a blog slacker. I could come up with 5000 excuses of why I haven't blogged for a few days but they would be just that, excuses. Truly and honestly I have been busy. Busy busy busy. But aren't we all? Especially this time of year?

I promised in a previous blog that this Christmas was going to be different and so far it has been. I am finished shopping and I'm getting ready to do the Christmas baking, which for me is a treat rather than a chore or punishment. Somewhere in there I had time to blog, I could have made time to blog, I just didn't.

We've been doing a lot as we've been on the go for several weeks now but it just didn't get mentioned. For instance, we've been to Toy-R-Us and shopped for Tanner but we didn't buy anything. We decided he doesn't need more STUFF so we're going to put money in his savings and get him some fun and little silly stuff for his stocking. We've also been to Larry's Christmas Dinner at Charlies, our church's Christmas dinner catered by Texas Roadhouse, my work Christmas party at Boonsboro Country Club, Jill's house for Binner (yes Binner), and more. Tanner's also been really sick with pneumonia and a double ear infection but he's better and now he has a black eye. Random, but true. He got hit in the face with a toy at daycare.

So today, I'm a blog slacker with not much to say although I feel like I said more than I initially had planned. I'll save my thanks for tomorrow's entry and call it a day. And Mrs. Skammer, I'm getting back to work :o)

Thankful Thursday

2008-12-11T14:18:00.002-05:00

I am always thankful for my family, friends, life, health, love, happiness, Jesus, freedom, safety, laughter and so much more…

This past week I have been and am still particularly thankful for:

-such willing, flexible, and loving parents who volunteered to keep Tanner (who is very sick) both yesterday and today
-another year that I got to see the Living Christmas Tree with my Grandma. We have done this every year since I can remember. Tanner also went and did great - he slept through the whole thing!
-Larry's willingness to take down old funky light fixtures at Mom and Dad's house to help them complete their bathroom remodeling
-my Mom in general. She is a wonderful and caring person and she's one of the best listeners and advice givers in the world. I love you Mom!
-one more week that I got to eat lunch with my Grandma (who's health is failing fast sadly)
-funny memories and the many smiles I've had while thinking of all the crazy things we used to do - SMALL TOWN FUN!!

Do you have a funny story?

2008-12-11T10:32:00.006-05:00

After my Ghoti Hook blog entry on Monday, I got some feedback from those that were around during that part of my life (and still are).

Jill, Jennifer, and Cathy remembered the pie tasting/wearing contest and Cathy even remembered being the culprit that smashed it in my face. Jennifer shared that there were some other things we did to push the limits. I hope not to bad, but who knows!

These kind of stories and memories really make me laugh.

Do you have any that you have recently remembered? Something funny we did together?

As I sit here at my desk, eating birthday cake for breakfast (provided by the company in honor of December birthdays), I remember my first ever camping trip and eating Oreos and Snickers minis and a bunch of other junk food until we were sick. It was great! We stayed up late and talked and laughed and it's one of my favorite memories of the three of us. I have the picture that we took of ourselves still up on my wall at home (I'm going to take it down and see if I can get a copy made of it and add it to this entry).

I also remember little things like Casey and I trying to join the gang at the beach and we got stuck in a tricky cloverleaf for 45 minutes. And night fishing with Casey, Jill, and Dave Dudley and I was too scared to stand up because I hate water at night (and Dave kept getting the boat so close to the bridge underpass). Water at night really freaks me out. And driving home from a beach trip and Cathy and I got burned scalps from the top being off of the jeep (dang that hurt for a while).

So many good times, memories, stories, and pictures to prove it. Do you have any funny memories? I would love to hear them.

Ghoti Hook

2008-12-08T15:14:00.002-05:00

You would have thought that by age 31 I would have grown up and that my music tastes would have changed. Well, I recently found a mixed CD that an old friend Linus made for me when I think I had just finished my freshman year in college. He and Peter Ear digitally mastered it and even made an awesome cover for it. Definitely good times.

When I heard one song by Ghoti Hook it took me back, way back. I can remember being with Jill listening to this Christian Rock/Punk band in an upstairs room of sorts in the old Spanky's building downtown. Jill, do you remember that? I loved Ghoti Hook. Correction, I think I still love Ghoti Hook and who would have guessed that after 10 years I would still know all the words? Weird what our minds log and hang on to. Ask me what I did a week ago and sadly, the answer is “not a clue”.

There were also tons of fun time during this period in my life. Jennifer and John D. taught our Sunday School class at church and they offered so many fun activities that allowed us to be our goofy selves while surrounding us with Christian teaching and love. I can remember pie tasting and wearing one, dressing up like our favorite SS teachers right down to Jill being their scary devil child, CathyJo being a pretty hot soccer player and I was a pretty sassy pregnant teacher. I can also remember spending time at the beach both with the SS class and with Jill, Ed, and Jason and visiting Mount Trashmore was it? I remember “the movie” that night at the hotel. LOL!

As my mind wonders back to those days, I smile. I can also remember singing into a hair brush, road trips that seemed like they would never end, falling on my face on a sand volleyball court, and random and free things that we found fun. Well, just a little walk down memory lane, to a time that was simple and fun. Ah the memories.

Thankful Thursday

2008-12-04T11:52:00.002-05:00

I am always thankful for my family, friends, life, health, love, happiness, Jesus, freedom, safety, laughter and so much more…

This past week I have been and am still particularly thankful for:

-my Dad - who turned 65 yesterday!!
-my Mom - who's birthday is tomorrow!!
-Jill's safe travels to and from AZ - welcome back friend
-another week that I got to have lunch with my Grandma
-a successful time getting the tree up with my BahHumBug of a husband (who I am also thankful for, just wish he would get into the Christmas spirit already)
-getting so much Christmas shopping DONE - and yes Jill, my spreadsheet rocks!
-getting Christmas presents to Oregon shipped already. I almost stroked out at the Post Office - poor Post Office worker - it wasn't pleasant.
-the prospect of getting to see so many of my friends that will come in for the holidays. I have already heard from 4! CathyJo-you guys coming in??

Take a moment to enjoy the Christmas season. Merry Christmas Early!!

To go or not to go? That is the question.

2008-12-03T10:03:00.003-05:00

I have wanted to go back to California since Tanner was born so Larry's extended family could meet Tanner, especially Larry's Grandparents, Tanner's Great Grandparents. Mama and Papa (pronounced Mumma and Puppa), who are well into their 80s, send cards and money on a regular basis to their youngest great grandchild whom they have never met. I really want them to be able to meet Tanner while they are still alive and I want to show my appreciation for their unbelievably sweet gifts.

Larry is terrified of flying with Tanner. Ok, that might be a bit dramatic, but he is not happy about the prospect of traveling for 8-10 hours with a 1 year old, specifically on a straight 5-6 hour flight.

Those of you who know Tanner know he's a flexible baby and can go with the flow, but he is a wiggly little dude and doesn't like to sit still for long. Heck, I can't sit still for long and I'm not sure how a 5-6 hour flight would go either. That's why I think more flight legs is the answer. Luckily, and maybe this is a sign, US Airways is running a special from Lynchburg to Long Beach with 2 lay overs within our price range (kind of sort of if you can say a flight is within any one's price range).

Now, I just need to convince Larry this is possible. Also, I just heard from Larry's older sister Gina that they are going to be in SoCal the end of January for Patrick's 5th birthday so Tanner might have a chance to meet his aunt, uncles, and cousins for the first time as well.

Here's hoping and praying...

This Year Christmas is Going to be Different...

2008-11-24T11:11:00.003-05:00

Trying to get it all done. That's the ever present syndrome that I face, as well as most women and moms I know. This Christmas, I am going to do it differently.

I have made a vow to myself, my sanity, and my bank account, that Christmas this year is going to be the best ever but it's not going to involve running around like a chicken with it's head cut off. I am cutting back BIG TIME and I'm pretty excited about it (I've even made an Excel spreadsheet with projected price per person/per gift and have set up formulas to help me see how much I'm spending so I can make good choices - don't laugh Jill).

It's not just the money, although we are all feeling that pinch I'm sure, but it's the REAL reason. I have felt for sometime that we have lost sight of Jesus and that retailers make it too easy to get caught up in the buying and spending and the I wants and the I gotta haves. After all, its Jesus' birth we are celebrating at Christmas.

This brings me to point #2. Tanner is only 1 so he doesn't have a concept of what Christmas really is or is about or how in the world Santa fits in but I have been thinking about this (and I would love any suggestions or feedback on the Santa part). How do I start planting the seed that we get presents at Christmas because we are celebrating Jesus' birth without dousing the traditional Santa Clause (Jesus' role at Christmas seems like a no brainer to me so I think we're good there)? I don't want my kid to ruin it for others that believe in Santa, etc. I want to raise him to know Jesus and to understand the real meaning for the holiday and still have that magic that I can remember from my childhood and still feel on occasion.

May your life be filled with magic this Thanksgiving and Christmas season!

Chin Up

2008-11-21T14:40:00.008-05:00

Every Thursday I write a Thankful Thursday blog which for me is a week in review and a time when I stop, catch my breath, and claim all that I have been and currently still am thankful for. It's a really amazing time for me because it allows me to remember all the truly awesome things God is doing in my life.

I also am the editor for our church's newsletter called Clean Slate. This has been my job for 3 months now which means there have been 3 editions of the newsletter. I love this job but it is truly challenging. Well, I just finished December's edition and it was a labor of love to say the least.

I also write a section in Clean Slate called The Juggler. It's a section where I mostly talk about all the goings on in my life and how I can only do as much as I do with God's help. You Moms out there should know what I'm talking about. Well, this month's article was written for someone else, my brother, Jason who's recent plight weighed heavy on my heart.

Jason, like myself, has a strong work ethic and doesn't like when work becomes stagnant. We like to always be working towards something and sometimes struggle when things slow down or we become dismayed with the task at hand. With all that said, Jason was going through some very tough times at work and was not happy. God is so good that He has allowed for things to change at work and from what I understand, this experience has changed many involved. I personally saw what was going on from Jason's perspective, a Wooldridge perspective, and Larry's perspective since Jason and Larry work together. All I can say is GOD PREVAILS!!

If you are going through anything, keep your chin up. It will help you stay focused on The Son :o)

Uncah Jay and Tanner - this past summer at the beach, definitely one of the sweetest pictures I have of the two of them

Thankful Thursday

2008-11-20T13:29:00.000-05:00

I am always thankful for my family, friends, life, health, love, happiness, Jesus, freedom, safety, laughter and so much more…

This past week I have been and am still particularly thankful for:

-the time spent with Larry’s family. Big Larry and Linda are great in-laws – the kind you hesitate to use “in-law” with because of the negative connotation that goes along with it
-Pop’s willingness, as always, to keep Tanner or help in ANY way – what a big ole Christian heart!
-Tanner’s 1st birthday and birthday party were awesome – we had tons of guests (32 at the party and 4 overnight) in our house and it worked out great (minus the burning myself part)
-leftover birthday party cupcakes – yummy, especially after a long day at work
-another week that I got to eat lunch with my Grandma (please keep her in your prayers, she’s not doing too well and is in a lot of pain pretty much all the time now)
-travel mercies while traveling to and from Greensboro for work
-the price of gas going down – a miracle indeed
-the holiday season – I am so THANKFUL for so many things

Tanner's 1st Birthday

2008-11-17T12:12:00.006-05:00

Last Thursday my little man, my little miracle, turned 1. Can you believe it? Man, the time has really flown by. The party was nutso but great (I can't wait to get those pictures online). Thanks to all of you who came, called, sent cards, emails and texts, and kept us in your thoughts and prayers through the birthday celebrations. Below are several of his pictures we had made.

Just Getting Warmed Up!

His Kung Foo Pose :o)

Sweet But Mischievous.

Aren't we cute?! Especially That Little Man!!

Thankful Thursday

2008-11-13T15:06:00.002-05:00

I am always thankful for my family, friends, life, health, love, happiness, Jesus, freedom, safety, laughter and so much more…

This past week I have been and am still particularly thankful for:

-Tanner's 1st Birthday - it's today and I am so thankful. God has blessed me with an amazing little family. After 7 years of trying and tons of tests and random poking and prodding, 1 year ago today I gave birth to a healthy 6 lb 12 oz baby boy. Tanner Cole, I love you!
-time to get my house in order for the California Gagnons stay with us (today through Sunday) and my amazing Mom's willingess to keep Tanner so I can get down to some serious cleaning
-my girlfriends who understand my heartfelt need to "be heard" regarding matters of the heart (much love Cathy-Jo and Jill)
-another week that I got to eat lunch with my Grandma
-Jesus money so I could finally open a savings account for Tanner rather than talking about it like I have for the past year
-Becky, a friend and co-worker, who also happens to be my mentor at work, and for the time we spent at Panera's discussing work issues and fixes - it's so good to have someone understand being challenged vs busy work

For My Girl, Cat...Double Tree Chocolate Chip Cookies

2008-11-12T08:47:00.002-05:00

Just in case you feel the need to bake extra, I can send you my address. Just teasing, but seriously, I found this online some years ago and it does taste like the cookies from any Double Tree Hotel. Yum-o and enjoy!

Double Tree Hotel Chocolate Chip Cookies

2 cups flour
1/2 tsp. baking soda
1/4 tsp salt
1 cup oats (uncooked)
3/4 cup sugar
3/4 cup Dark Brown sugar
1 cup butter, softened
2 large eggs
2 tsp. vanilla
1 tsp. lemon juice
12 oz. chocolate chips
1 1/2 cup walnuts

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Lightly grease cookie sheets (I skip this step since I use a Pampered Chef stone). Place the butter in a large bowl and cream lightly with an electric mixer. Add the sugars and beat on medium speed for about 2 minutes. Add the eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition. Add the vanilla and lemon juice and mix well. In a separate bowl, stir together the flour, oatmeal, baking soda, and salt. Add to the creamed butter mixture and stir well to blend. Add chocolate chips and walnuts and stir to combine. Using a 1/4 cup measure or a 2−oz ice cream scoop, drop the batter on the cookie sheets, leaving 2−3 inches between each cookie. Bake for 13−15 minutes or until lightly browned around the edges. Remove from the cookie sheets and cool on wire racks. Eat. Smile. Enjoy.

A Better Day

2008-11-11T09:55:00.003-05:00

As I awoke this morning, I vowed out loud that it would be a better day. I "claimed it" as my preacher would say. And what do you know, my out look is brighter and so far my day is going great.

When I got to work, I had an email from one of my best friends who reads my blog, CathyJo. After reading my entry yesterday she emailed me. Her message was simple and so true. "Sounds like its time for a girls weekend." That's exactly what I need. I need a girls weekend - a time where we can be together, be silly, stay up later than usual, eat random stuff, shop, watch odd stuff on TV (we always seem to end up watching America's Next Top Model or something that we normally don't watch but there just happens to be a marathon on), etc. At this point, a girls weekend would be the break from the normal and mundane that I am currently struggling with.

So CathyJo, to you, one of my very best friends, and the one with the plan, let's have us a girls weekend!!!

The Ever Funky Funk

2008-11-10T10:28:00.001-05:00

I have to admit that I have felt gloomy lately and I hate that. I have so many things to be thankful for that the few things that make me unhappy have produced a guilt effect.

At first I wasn’t able to put my finger on what made me unhappy, but the more and more I thought about it, the more I realized that I was just unhappy in general. I think it goes back to the “more” I was talking about in a previous blog.

As I sat in the same room as Larry yesterday after church while Tanner was napping, I realized that we don’t talk anymore. It’s not that we don’t talk about the big stuff or the important stuff, we just don’t talk. He often does his own thing which forces me to do mine, which I don’t like. It’s not that I can’t entertain myself; it’s just that I want to be with him and have fun with him. For instance, I prayed for a long time for our laptop to break (it was dying anyway) so he would have one less distraction and this past weekend it broke. It completely died which should have been great but he has managed to fill it up with anything and everything in what seems like an effort to ignore me already. He has also not made time for any of the things that I love about fall – a drive along the parkway or a picnic, going to a pumpkin patch or apple orchard, anything outdoors, I’m seriously not picky but he knows these things mean a lot to me and I thought they would be especially fun to do with Tanner.

This is a whole other level of sadness and unhappiness. Sometimes I just look at him and wonder why it’s so hard to talk to me. Most people seem to find me easy to talk to and rather independent so I don’t put out that needy vibe (I don’t think). I just don’t know what’s going on. Our common ground seems to be Tanner and praise God that Larry is a great Dad. He loves Tanner, takes good care of him, and they have fun together. It’s obvious that Tanner adores his Dad too.

I am also unhappy at work, and not because it’s work, but because it’s not challenging. I often feel like I missed my calling because this work just makes me want to bang my head against my desk and I don’t ever feel like I really do anything important. I also find myself day dreaming or wishing I could be anywhere else. I feel like that genius child in the classroom that carries on because they aren’t being challenged and they keep getting more work, not harder work. I feel stifled here and I wish I could stay at home with Tanner. At least part time. I am missing so much and the few hours I get to spend with him in the morning before work and the night before bed is just not enough.

I pray that God will give me some healing and direction. I am listening, intently. I am waiting for some kind of sign. Until then, I will keep praying, watching, and waiting. Your prayers are welcomed.

Thankful Thursday

2008-11-06T10:04:00.003-05:00

I am always thankful for my family, friends, life, health, love, happiness, Jesus, freedom, safety, laughter and so much more…

This past week I have been and am still particularly thankful for:

-Tanner being fine, not having allergies to nuts, and the hives finally going away
-finding cute birthday party invitations for Tanner's 1st birthday next week - they even have monkeys on them!
-a fun time with friends at the UVa game, tailgating was the best part of that game since we lost in overtime
-another week that I got to eat lunch with my Grandma
-moments alone in the grocery store
-big projects that have been finished at work and getting my annual review behind me
-having the freedom to vote and knowing that God is in control, especially since my candidate didn't win (please continue to pray for our country and our president elect, God knows the master plan)
-a handy husband who can hang drywall, tape, and mud so the guest bedroom wall looks like it used to before termites - yikes!

Peanut Blessings

2008-11-05T15:58:00.003-05:00

I just got a call from the doctor's office and Tanner is NOT allergic to peanuts or any of the nuts they tested him for (pine nuts, almonds, peanuts, coconuts, etc - I didn't even process that coconuts are considered nuts - missed that little tidbit of information in school). This is such a relief and an absolute blessing, you have no idea. God is good!

We are still working on narrowing down what Tanner could be allergic too but he's getting better every day and nothing slows that kid down. He's crazy!

So Much for Being an Elephant...

2008-11-03T15:14:00.002-05:00

Tanner was supposed to be an elephant for Halloween. That plan did not work out too well.

I was getting ready to change him into his costume at Jill's house, at her Halloween party nonetheless, when we noticed that his legs were covered in hives. After further inspection, we noticed that he had them everywhere, from head to toe. He never indicated anything was wrong. No scratching, no pulling at clothes, no nothing. Sometimes I wonder if he feels these things.

Anyway, the doctor had us give him Benedryl and take him home and advised if the hives hadn't gone away in 48 hours to bring him in. So Sunday afternoon, I took him to see the doctor. They weren't bad but they were present. Within 10 minutes the hives were awful and the doctor prescribed a steroid. Poor little baby had to have blood work too.

They tested him for nut allergies and a few more things I'm not sure of. He was so calm when we laid him back and they put that green plastic band on his arm and tried to find a vein. The whole time the phlebotomist poked at him and took his blood, he just laid there. He was the calmest I have ever seen him. It was almost spooky.

Anyway, we find out maybe Wednesday if they found anything but the doctor didn't think they would. He said that sometimes kids just have these kinds of things. He would definitely be my son, random illnesses and reactions to say the least.

Thankful Thursday

2008-10-30T11:26:00.002-04:00

I am always thankful for my family, friends, life, health, love, happiness, Jesus, freedom, safety, laughter and so much more…

This past week I have been and am still particularly thankful for:

-the Fall Festival that we had at our church. We had 126 people attend which is NUTS but ALL GOD for such a little church.
-God's beauty all around me with the changing of the leaves. I love Fall!
-another week that I got to eat lunch with my Grandma.
-the opportunity to see several of my friends and help Keith celebrate his 30th birthday surpise style
-finishing November's newsletter and getting it mailed out.
-my sister-in-law Stormy who is just fabulous and inspires me without knowing it.
-the fact that Tanner is really walking now. That little booger can roll.
-a full calendar but not a crazy calendar - I am really looking forward to Jill's Halloween Party tomorrow!

The Life I Have vs The Life I Want

2008-10-29T13:11:00.002-04:00

Jill left a comment on my previous entry, Desk Job, and of course as Jill always does, she plays Devil's Advocate. Her question, "is that the life I have or the life I want?" raises a very good point though.

The life I have is great but sometimes I fall into that "grass is always greener" trap. I think to some level, we all do. I have a great family, wonderful friends, an awesome church, a God that loves me unconditionally, a nice roof over my head, food in my belly, and a car in the garage. I have a job that pays the bills so my lights work and my water runs.

So why in the world do I ever complain or dare want anything else? It's honestly beyond me.

The life I want is not much different from the life I have. I think it's just that I want more. Not more stuff or money, but more.

I want more time with Tanner. I want Larry to listen to what I say and actually respond more often. I want a job where I smile more and have more interactions with people. I want to feel the sun/son on my face more. I want more talking, less TV. I want more hope, less pain, frustration, and politics. I just think that currently I have this itch I can't scratch.

So, to you Jill my dear friend, I have the life God has fashioned for me so far and that is good enough for me.

Desk Job

2008-10-29T10:39:00.005-04:00

I have felt "stuck" lately, like I'm not sure what to write. I got a text message from my friend Cathy the other day that asked me how was she supposed to procrastinate at work when I wasn't blogging?! My bad Cathy. It's just not coming to me these days. I'll try harder, promise :o)

As I sit here at my desk, procrastinating (like Cathy) and trying to avoid the few things that I have left to do, I think of the fun I have when I'm not at work. I also think about how I ended up with a desk job. Just to be overly dramatic for a second, some days I feel like the life is being sucked out of me. With that said, it's not always bad, and I should be thankful I have a job and one that allows us to have the life we do.

My time spent at home involves chasing Tanner and allowing him to chase and catch me. Currently this is his most fun thing, other than playing with a blue balloon that we've had for over a month. The pictures below are what make life interesting and worth while, while I'm not at work.

Keith’s 30th Birthday/Halloween Costume Party

2008-10-28T09:05:00.007-04:00

Oh my gosh. I haven’t had this much fun in too long. I also haven’t laughed this hard in way too long. I’ve had some good times lately, but last Saturday was an entirely different level of silliness and fun as you can see by the pictures below. These are some of the funniest people I know. Enjoy!

Jason and Alison

Keith and Kelyn

Brandon and Bailey

Shawn and Renee
And of course...

Me and Lou :o)

Thankful Thursday, a day late

2008-10-24T09:23:00.000-04:00

(Thanks Regina for the reminder!!)

I am always thankful for my family, friends, life, health, love, happiness, Jesus, freedom, safety, laughter…

This past week I have been and am still particularly thankful for:

-reconnecting with old friends – thanks Facebook
-meeting new friends – our new youth pastor Nick and his wife Dana are awesome
-another week I got to eat lunch with my Grandma
-a few good days with Pepper – he has liver cancer but we still get to experience some good days with him
-a fun time at the UVa game with Larry, Keith, Kelyn, Renee, Shawn, Lloyd and Teresa – Go Hoos!
-Jason’s birthday celebration at Larry and Darlene’s – man I love my family!
-A new stuffed shells recipe that turned out awesome – thanks Allrecipes.com
-travel mercies while on the road to and from Greensboro – thanks for no overnights this time
-my job – I know that sounds weird, but with this economy I am thankful for money coming in and most days I like what I do

A BIG thanks goes out to...

2008-10-21T22:04:00.003-04:00

John Mark Skammer for giving my blog a much needed face lift. It's wonderful and I thank you so much! You and Regina both are truly amazing people and I am so thankful that you both are in my life. I hope that we can all grow closer and as Tanner grows up a bit the boys can play together. Who knows, Daniel and Lucas think 'Mushroom' is pretty cool, your boys might too. Thanks again John, you made my page look great!!

Happy Birthday Jason

2008-10-20T15:49:00.003-04:00

My big brother Jason doesn't seem fond of birthdays, especially his own, and especially when he's turning 35. Yep, you guessed it, today is his 35th birthday. Happy Birthday Jay!

I am so thankful for Jason. He is not only my brother but my friend. Stormy often comments on the fact that Jason and I "talk in movie lines" and it's true. Jason is one of the only people that I could say "That just happened" to or "I'm gonna come at you like a spider monkey" and understand what I'm talking about. I have grown to love to hang out with Jason and Stormy and the 4 of us have a blast - take for instance our couples weekend at Douthat. When I couldn't climb the hill as fast as the others on my bike, it was Jason who was there encouraging me and reminding me how to make it without it being harder then it had to be. Thanks Jay!

Not only is Jason a great brother and friend, he's a great uncle. Tanner adores 'Uncah Jay' and looks at him with great affection. I think Jason digs this too and he beams at Tanner when they are together. They have a special bond and that's pretty awesome.

We are blessed to be so close with our family. So Jason, to you on your birthday! Salude and Shake and Bake!!

Thankful Thursday

2008-10-16T13:47:00.000-04:00

I am always thankful for my family, friends, life, health, love, happiness, Jesus, freedom, safety, laughter…

This past week I have been and am still particularly thankful for:

-again, the angels that helped keep Tanner while Tina was on vacation
-Tina, since Tanner adores her and that gives me a great peace of mind. I am so glad you are back!
-good friends, I am so blessed to have several super close friends
-my brother Jason, because he is the best brother in the world even though he’s a Hokie (I mean seriously Jason, really?)
-my sister-in-law Stormy who is the sister I always wanted and who is always good for a laugh (ask her about her crotch pot)
-another week that I had lunch with my Grandma
-my Aunt Joyce and Uncle Smoot’s willingness to help me with my Halloween costume – gonna be a biker chick
-travel mercies while traveling to and from Greensboro and for keeping my boys in line while I was gone

Catching My Breath

2008-10-13T14:04:00.001-04:00

I’m finally trying to catch my breath. I feel like I have been on the go for way to long and really need to slow down. I've been traveling a lot for work, Tanner has not been feeling well, his sitter has been on vacation so other Angels have stepped in to keep him, and the world around us keeps moving.

I told Larry yesterday afternoon (after a very short night since Tanner has been sick) that I needed a vacation. He simply asked, “Where would you go?” He didn’t mention that I have no time to take from work or that we have no money for a trip or anything negative, he just let me have my dream for that brief moment.

I explained that I would like to go to Virginia Beach for the weekend. Just to spend some time with my feet in the sand and my face in the sun, to spend some quiet time with God and a girlfriend. I would take my Mom. We would get away just to relax. We would have no real plan. We would wake up and go where God led us for the day. Maybe this can not be just a dream but I can make it a reality. We’ll see…

Thankful Thursday

2008-10-09T10:54:00.003-04:00

I am always thankful for my family, friends, life, health, love, happiness, Jesus, freedom, safety, laughter…

This past week I have been and am still particularly thankful for:

-Cathy and Cory’s sweet wedding celebration and that I got to be a part of it
-birthday cake and celebrating Larry’s birthday
-my Mom and that her surgery went well and they got all the cancer (skin cancer)
-pedicures with Jill and Cathy
-another week that I got to eat lunch with my Grandma
-safety traveling for work
-Mom, Dad, Stormy, and Lori for keeping Tanner this week while Tina was on vacation
-being a part of such a sweet body of Christ, I love my little country church!
-time spent playing with Tanner and chasing him now that he’s walking more
-time spent with Pepper, God has given us a chance to really cherish these last days

Birthday Cake

2008-10-07T10:51:00.000-04:00

I love birthday cake. I look forward to birthday cake. This past Saturday was Larry’s 31st birthday and we celebrated with family on Sunday since Saturday was too busy to say the least. Carrot cake and cream cheese icing, and please make it cold was the request. So that I did. After Cathy’s wedding on Saturday, I came home and made a birthday cake and put it in the fridge. I made sure we had milk to go with it. At our house after church on Sunday there was a flurry of activity all around my house. For the first time in a while, my house felt normal. I hadn’t realized that I missed normal. As I sat in the floor eating cold carrot cake, I had a moment where I was so thankful for my normal yet crazy life, and thankful for the simplicity, of birthday cake.

Best Friends

2008-10-06T15:02:00.000-04:00

One of my best friends, Cathy, got married on Saturday and she looked beautiful with her makeup and hair done especially for the day. Her dress was gorgeous and it fit her like it was made just for her. She joked that her makeup looked like something from Dancing with the Stars. We all laughed. It was a light, fun day.

The closer it got to Saturday the more I felt like I needed to somehow magically be 2 different people that day and for 2 very different reasons.

One, I needed to do and be everything Cathy needed so she didn’t have to think about anything. The matron of honor’s job after all is to help the bride get ready to go down the aisle by helping her get into her gown (and yes, help with taking the pants off too, ha ha) and remind her to wear something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue, to make her feel good about her makeup although not only did she say it was Dancing with the Stars, but she also mentioned looking like an ice skater (it really was beautiful), to help keep the mood light, to help pack up after the reception, to see the new couple off, and to remember all the little things that the bride might have forgotten and shouldn’t have to worry about.

Two, to be everything Jill needed to get through the wedding – although everything in this category was brand new territory. Jill never asked for anything and never really seemed like she needed anything. She’s an oak (as Larry would say). Since Thayer died, little things in all of our worlds have changed. The line “til death do us part” in the wedding ceremony never before meant so much to me and I previously don’t think I took it seriously enough. Seeing one best friend have the happiest day of her life while standing next to my other best friend reliving what should have been the start of her long life with Thayer. Til death do us part should mean until we die of old age, like when we are 90+, not 31. There are constant reminders of the “little things” that meant so much between Jill and Thayer. Jill and I joked about being “snake chapped” but this is how I felt while smiling at the happy couple and then looking over to make sure Jill was holding it together, but her strength and faith is unshakeable and unyielding.

Watching Cathy and Cory’s ceremony was sweet and I was proud to be a part of it and Jill would say the same. Cathy, Jill, and I are the kind of best friends where you don’t have to say everything on your heart for the other to know it. So Jill, even though I don’t have to say, I want you to know it, I love you and I am really proud of you, and Cathy, I love you, and I am really proud of you too. I wish you and Cory many happy years together and I hope that you both cherish every single moment you have together.

It is what it is

2008-09-29T16:25:00.001-04:00

Mondays are always tough since I have to adapt to someone else’s schedule and expectations after having a few days with minimal rules. I would have loved to stay home in my pajamas and played with Tanner all day but that’s called play, not work. Work is something that I mostly enjoy although there are times when I emotionally struggle with time missed from my little man Tanner. Work, for Larry and me, is a necessary evil that we created so the philosophy I’ve adopted is “it is what it is”.

God has given me this philosophy to use in many aspects of my life, such as, when my in laws (who are wonderful people) came to stay with us for 5 days the week after Tanner was born. God promises that He won’t give me anything I can’t bear; he didn’t say it would be easy, but He will help me through it. This isn't the toughest thing I have ever been through by far and this isn't the toughest thing I will ever go though.

Right now, as I sit here, I wish I could change my schedule so I am already in my living room floor playing with Tanner. But, it is, what it is, so back to work until that magic time when I get to go home…

Thankful Thursday

2008-09-25T15:30:00.002-04:00

I am always thankful for my family, friends, life, health, love, happiness, Jesus, freedom, safety, laughter…

This past week I have been and am still particularly thankful for:

-going camping and enjoying a true break and a renewal (and it was GORGEOUS)
-time spent with Jason and Stormy while camping – cards, cooking, bonfire, geo-caching, riding bikes, etc.
-Larry and his role with Tanner (since he has been out of town all week I have really realized that and that I hate being alone)
-having time to ride my bike and not falling down and embarrassing myself ;o)
-another week that I had lunch with my Grandma
-Taco night with Jill, Daniel, and Lucas (pictured above w/ Jill's permission), the boys loved "Mushroom" and he loved them too!
-getting the church newsletter mailed
-new baking recipes
-watching 3 uninterrupted episodes of Cold Case, not all at the same time
-my friend Cathy who is getting married in less than 2 weeks!! Woo hoo!!

Pepper

2008-09-25T14:49:00.001-04:00

Lately, our almost 13 year old Miniature Schnauzer’s health has been rapidly declining.

I got Pepper when I was 18 and when Larry came along, Pepper and I were a package deal, couldn’t have one without the other. He used to go everywhere with me and was definitely one of my very best friends. He would hike with me and we would go to the park just so he could run the trails. He would run a ways a head and then sprint back and look at me as if to say, “What is taking you so long?” He was so good natured and sweet and the way he looked at me told me that he understood whatever I was talking about. I also had this sense that he loved to be with me as much as I loved being with him. He used to always want to sit in my lap, walk right beside me (or under foot), and sleep in the curve of my back.

Sadly, most of that has changed as Pepper has gotten older.

He seems confused, runs into doors and furniture, can’t hear, stares off into space, doesn’t particularly come around much, and growls more than he used to (he also can’t hold his bladder or bowels anymore). I think the time has come to have a conversation with our Vet and see if Pepper is in any pain. Just the thought of having to make any decision where the end result is Pepper not being physically in our lives anymore weighs extremely heavy on my heart.

Camping, Part 2

2008-09-22T14:08:00.000-04:00

Camping this past weekend at Douthat State Park was truly amazing. The time together with Larry, my brother Jason, and my sister in law Stormy was awesome and exactly what I needed (an all adult trip – the kids stayed with the Grandparents). I had felt for a long time that I needed a renewal and this past weekend I got one. The air was crisp and the sun was bright. Fall had started to set in so the mornings were cool and the evenings were cold. We enjoyed walking, hiking, riding bikes, cooking out, playing games and cards, and sitting around a big fire that my brother tended like no other. On Friday, the guys fished while the girls talked and read. I even took a nap on Saturday. It was fabulous.

This is a trip I hope to take year after year. When I feel worn out and run down, I need to remember our time at Douthat and how God provided the get away I needed exactly when I needed it most. His beauty was so apparent there that every moment I felt surrounded by God’s astonishing love.

Camping

2008-09-17T21:34:00.004-04:00

This week has been a mad dash to get ready to go camping this coming weekend. Larry and I are camping with my brother and sister-in-law, whom we both love dearly, and it should be so much fun. I'm always curious though why it's so hard getting ready to take a vacation...

I probably make it harder than it has to be.

This week has been nuts. Monday I had to take a test at work which meant I studied a lot over the weekend and stressed out until it was finished and passed Monday morning. Monday night I ate dinner with my parents and then Tanner and I walked (he strolled) with my Mom in Wyndhurst. Tuesday I had to drop my car off at BCH in the morning for some routine work, get a ride back at lunch to pick it up, then go eat lunch with my Grandma. Tuesday night my nephew also had a baseball game. Today I had to go to Roanoke bright and early for a CE class for work, pick up new contacts after work, pick up dinner, and later went to the grocery store to get all the food for camping. I also had to make a few things tonight to take camping.

Intertwined with all those activities were the regular activities of my daily life: take care of a 10 month old, work a full time job, get Tanner out of the dog's toys, drop off and pick up Tanner from the sitters, wash 5 loads of laundry - which includes drying and hanging up or folding, give Tanner the 2nd bath of the day because he has peas crusted to the side of his head, pack Pepper and Tanner's items to stay with the grandparents while the adults are camping, go to the store for dinner items because we still need to eat, cook dinner, get myself packed for camping, etc, etc, etc.

I think I need a vacation from my preparation for vacation and I definitely don't think it should be this hard. So as I sit here and type, I'm thinking about cuddling up in bed with the latest book and hunker down, at least until it's time to get the clothes out of the dryer and just relax and take a moment for myself, before finishing the packing for camping.

Smores, here I come.

Time

2008-09-15T20:49:00.003-04:00

Where does the time go?

When you first tell people you are pregnant you get a flurry of responses and reactions (for those of you who just asked yourself the question, no I am not pregnant). Most people will tell you about their pregnancy and birthing story and although some are truly wonderful and sound amazingly sweet and beautiful, the majority of the ones I heard were terrible. Others will tell you to cherish every minute of being pregnant because it will fly by, just like when your babies are born, they will grow up too fast. Most Moms will tell you that the last 6 weeks before your baby (or babies) is born is the longest ever. You just want to see that precious face and see those little fingers, toes, knees, elbows, etc. that poked you while they got bigger and their "house" got smaller (although some of us felt like we were shoplifting a watermelon). You want those last weeks to fly by, just to see, love, and hold.

And just like that, time does fly by, your baby is born and at 10 months, take their first steps.

Yes, Tanner took 3 steps this weekend. He has been teetering on the edge of this accomplishment for some time, but officially took his first steps this past weekend. He now finds it hilarious to stand up in the middle of the room, not holding on to anything, and take one step, then another, then another, then plop down on his padded bottom. At this time, 3 steps is the max.

Parents, hold on to your babies as long as they will let you, because its true that time flies and they do grow up way too fast. Cuddle them while you can, read to them, hug them, call them silly lovey names every chance you get, because at some point we all ask ourselves, where did the time go?

In. Out.

2008-09-13T21:41:00.006-04:00

I just need to get this small rant out of my system. What's bothering me so is the lack of attention people pay to each other. I mean really taking time for each other, listening to them, and caring.

Sometimes we get so wrapped up in ourselves and our own lives that we miss what's going on around us, or simply, we just don't care what's going on around us. People seem to want something five minutes ago and when it doesn't work out exactly as planned, they are devastated. Well you know what people? God never said life would be easy. Maybe we need to take a step back from our fast paced lives and just breathe. Just stop and take a simple breath. In. Out. Do you feel any better? Sometimes just taking a breath, in and out, gets me through. Ultimately, God gets me through, and he gives me that breath. He's that still small voice reassuring me that everything will be ok. Then that moment comes when I'm grounded again. I continue to concentrate on the in and out, if only for a moment or two, in and out.

There have been several big things going on in my life recently that have just knocked me to my knees. The kind of eye opening events that people my age should not have to experience. But those are just my standards because recently I have had to remind myself, more than in my previous 31 years of life, that God is in control and that everything happens for a reason. It does not mean I have to understand it or like it, I just have to accept that it happened exactly as God planned. Everything is in God's time. He reminds me when I'm so focused on me and what I'm going through to just stop and breathe. In and out. Are you breathing? In. Out.

Thankful Thursday

2008-09-11T11:27:00.004-04:00

I am always thankful for my family, friends, life, health, love, happiness, Jesus, freedom, safety, laughter…

Today is 9/11 and I think back and remember how raw I felt when I heard the news of the attacks. Remember 9/11, never forget.

This past week I have been and am still particularly thankful for:

- friends that help motivate me to eat better and lose weight and family that says I can do it
- finding a jogging stroller that was within my price range
- another week that I had lunch with my Grandma
- Target trips and spending less than I had budgeted
- being in town all week and not having to travel to Gboro for work
- getting the church newsletter finished
- the fact that I actually like carrots (because I’ve recently eaten a lot!)
- late night phone calls with friends

Random thoughts for a Wednesday morning

2008-09-10T10:56:00.002-04:00

I have read through several of my friends blogs of the last couple of days and feel blessed to have such amazing friends. I am excited because their blogs are so unique and hope they can help me spice mine up. It has also helped me realize that I need to take and post more pictures. All of this will come. Eventually.

Other dreams and ramblings for the day...
I would like to take a day off just to play with my son, to swing, to shop, to hang out with Jill, to have a Pineapple Surf smoothie, to take a cake decorating class, to enjoy learning a new craft - something super fun, to take a day trip, to ride my bike, to explore my surroundings, to paint something in my house, etc. Maybe I will.

Finally.

2008-09-09T10:41:00.000-04:00

Several people have encouraged me to start a blog for some time now. It has finally happened. I finally broke down, made time for it, and did it. Interestingly enough, I really wanted to get started last week but I was having a difficult time finding the right name. So I just "let it go" and gave it a few days.

Well, I was driving from work yesterday afternoon to pick up my son from day care and I was listening to a CD that my friend Jill let me borrow. Andrew Peterson was singing about all the things we chase and 'now and then these feet just take to wandering' and I realized that was it. My blog was going to talk about where God's taking me and what happens along the way. So, with All 10 Toes, I hope to share my thoughts, blessings, ramblings, ideas, dreams, and the like, with you.